I would add treat everyone as though it were the last day you’ll see them…. ✨
Two favorites I’d like to share as I was blessed to discover these poems before I had children:
“Song for a Fifth Child” by Ruth Hulbert Hamilton, 1958
Mother, oh mother, come shake out your cloth! Empty the dustpan, poison the moth, Hang out the washing and butter the bread, Sew on a button and make up a bed. Where is the mother whose house is so shocking? She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking!
Oh, I’ve grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue (Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby, loo). Dishes are waiting and bills are past due (Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo). The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo. Look! Aren’t her eyes the most wonderful hue? (Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo.)
Oh, cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow, But children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow. So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust, go to sleep. I’m rocking my baby. Babies don’t keep
Kahlil Gibran
1883 – 1931
And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, Speak to us of Children. And he said: Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts, For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth. The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far. Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness; For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable
Yvonne, what a gift you've left in these comments. "Babies Don't Keep" is new to me and I am so glad you brought it here — it's going straight to my heart. The dishes can wait. They always could.
And Gibran's "On Children" is one I return to again and again. I've actually written about it in the newsletter before because "they come through you but not from you" is the line I have needed most as a mother. It never loses its power.
Your addition belongs on every list — treating everyone as if it's the last time you'll see them. Simple, radical, and true.
Thank you for being here and for adding your wisdom to mine.
Mary, the overlap is exactly why I knew this conversation had to happen. The living and the dead, it turns out, have a lot to say to each other. I'm so excited for Tuesday-- see you there!
Jan, you and I know exactly what that researcher was talking about, don't we? There is nothing quite like it. I'm so glad this resonated — enjoy every single moment with that sweet girl.
Love the writing as much as the content—beautiful. The studies on grandparents and the thoughts on how much we were juggling when our own children were younger truly resonated.
Niki, thank you for seeing both the writing and the message — that means everything to a writer. And yes, the juggling. We were doing so much, carrying so much, and often in silence. I think many of us are only now finding the words for what that weight actually felt like. I'm glad this named something for you 🤍
Yes to continually learning. I find my mind is on overdrive with every question leading to another and then a search for answers. Our brain and physical health is everything as we age. Well said!
Totally! One question leads to another and suddenly it's midnight and you're deep in a rabbit hole you didn't see coming. I think that's the sign of a alive and hungry mind. May we never lose that. Thank you for being here.
Looking forward to the Live chat and happy belated birthday, youngster! Were your children receptive to your observation about alcohol? Love your thoughts.
Thanks for bday wishes! The conversation with my kids has been six years in the making. I quit alcohol for good 2/2020. My son has since quit drinking altogether, and both my daughters have been pregnant and/or breastfeeding for the past 2 years. They are both more circumspect about alcohol and its effects since having new babies. One even said she might quit altogether when she's done breastfeeding. We will see what happens!
Happy Belated Birthday, Ilona!!!! I don't have children but I like the post! Thank you for sharing! You're so fortunate to have children and grandchildren.
Happy belated to me! Thank you so much for being here, Yvonne. The wisdom in this letter belongs to anyone who needs it — children or not. I'm so glad it resonated.
Love the subject but haven't heard of M McG. I want to make it on Tuesday but I'm not sure where to go. Passing this off to a friend with kids and grandkids. I love your writing!
Thanks, Lisa for the compliment and for passing it along. I will send you the link on Monday. Otherwise just go on Substack on Tuesday at 11 a.m. and go to my pub. Should see the Live! I thought you made it last time somehow.
Belated Happy Birthday and couldn't agree more with your list (although I still drink alcohol but am really thinking...). I am marking Tuesday's event on my calendar. Thanks for being such a clear and helpful voice in my life!
Awww, hi buddy. So nice to hear from you and hope you will be back in the neighborhood soon. I have things to report. I’m glad you are thinking about things—that’s the sign of an open mind. Sending much love your way!
Beautiful!! Great tips!💖
I would add treat everyone as though it were the last day you’ll see them…. ✨
Two favorites I’d like to share as I was blessed to discover these poems before I had children:
“Song for a Fifth Child” by Ruth Hulbert Hamilton, 1958
Mother, oh mother, come shake out your cloth! Empty the dustpan, poison the moth, Hang out the washing and butter the bread, Sew on a button and make up a bed. Where is the mother whose house is so shocking? She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking!
Oh, I’ve grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue (Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby, loo). Dishes are waiting and bills are past due (Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo). The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo. Look! Aren’t her eyes the most wonderful hue? (Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo.)
Oh, cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow, But children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow. So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust, go to sleep. I’m rocking my baby. Babies don’t keep
Kahlil Gibran
1883 – 1931
And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, Speak to us of Children. And he said: Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts, For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth. The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far. Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness; For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable
Yvonne, what a gift you've left in these comments. "Babies Don't Keep" is new to me and I am so glad you brought it here — it's going straight to my heart. The dishes can wait. They always could.
And Gibran's "On Children" is one I return to again and again. I've actually written about it in the newsletter before because "they come through you but not from you" is the line I have needed most as a mother. It never loses its power.
Your addition belongs on every list — treating everyone as if it's the last time you'll see them. Simple, radical, and true.
Thank you for being here and for adding your wisdom to mine.
So excited to have this conversation, Ilona! Lots of overlap between these lessons (and great comments) and what obituaries can teach us.
Mary, the overlap is exactly why I knew this conversation had to happen. The living and the dead, it turns out, have a lot to say to each other. I'm so excited for Tuesday-- see you there!
I thoroughly enjoy Mary McGreevy! Great that you will be sharing her! Great read today. I am about to turn 63 myself!
Yes, Mary is so much fun. I hope you can make it on Tuesday. Happy Birthday, Machelle!
As a new grandparent, this was so special, and of course, true. I will hold it close as my sweet granddaughter grows older.
Jan, you and I know exactly what that researcher was talking about, don't we? There is nothing quite like it. I'm so glad this resonated — enjoy every single moment with that sweet girl.
We do Ilona and I am treasuring each moment.
Love the writing as much as the content—beautiful. The studies on grandparents and the thoughts on how much we were juggling when our own children were younger truly resonated.
Niki, thank you for seeing both the writing and the message — that means everything to a writer. And yes, the juggling. We were doing so much, carrying so much, and often in silence. I think many of us are only now finding the words for what that weight actually felt like. I'm glad this named something for you 🤍
Yes to continually learning. I find my mind is on overdrive with every question leading to another and then a search for answers. Our brain and physical health is everything as we age. Well said!
Totally! One question leads to another and suddenly it's midnight and you're deep in a rabbit hole you didn't see coming. I think that's the sign of a alive and hungry mind. May we never lose that. Thank you for being here.
Looking forward to the Live chat and happy belated birthday, youngster! Were your children receptive to your observation about alcohol? Love your thoughts.
Thanks for bday wishes! The conversation with my kids has been six years in the making. I quit alcohol for good 2/2020. My son has since quit drinking altogether, and both my daughters have been pregnant and/or breastfeeding for the past 2 years. They are both more circumspect about alcohol and its effects since having new babies. One even said she might quit altogether when she's done breastfeeding. We will see what happens!
Happy Belated Birthday, Ilona!!!! I don't have children but I like the post! Thank you for sharing! You're so fortunate to have children and grandchildren.
Happy belated to me! Thank you so much for being here, Yvonne. The wisdom in this letter belongs to anyone who needs it — children or not. I'm so glad it resonated.
Love the subject but haven't heard of M McG. I want to make it on Tuesday but I'm not sure where to go. Passing this off to a friend with kids and grandkids. I love your writing!
Thanks, Lisa for the compliment and for passing it along. I will send you the link on Monday. Otherwise just go on Substack on Tuesday at 11 a.m. and go to my pub. Should see the Live! I thought you made it last time somehow.
I'm not sure I did. Ok. I'll put it on the calendar. I think I have had some issues with LIVE before. Not sure why.
Belated Happy Birthday and couldn't agree more with your list (although I still drink alcohol but am really thinking...). I am marking Tuesday's event on my calendar. Thanks for being such a clear and helpful voice in my life!
Awww, hi buddy. So nice to hear from you and hope you will be back in the neighborhood soon. I have things to report. I’m glad you are thinking about things—that’s the sign of an open mind. Sending much love your way!
will def be in touch when I’ve landed back there - doing a bit of traveling and still wrapping things up in the Catskills! xo