I took dance lessons when I was in kindergarten. I had a terrible earache on the night of my first and only recital. My mother's solution to earaches was to stuff a cotton ball in the sore ear.
(Side note: I googled 'untreated ear infection' while writing this to see if I could blame my hearing loss on my mom. I can't.)
I remember the pink gingham dress and the click-clacking of my tap shoes.
While I don't remember the recital, I recall the shooting pain in my head every time I moved. It must have been a disaster since she didn't sign me up for lessons again.
As a kid, dancing was second nature. I moved and swayed to the music of Elton John, Billy Joel, and Queen, as my friends did.
My boyfriend in college had some rather unique moves. In his expressive way, he danced to entertain me and everyone else. I think that's what he was doing.
I'm married to him now, and he's still dancing that way. You'd have to see it firsthand to understand.
As I got older, dance became harder. I felt like I didn't know how to move anymore. It’s as if my body had become frozen from all the hardships and stress.
More self-conscious, alcohol helped to get me on the dance floor. Booze helped free my inner dancing queen.
After a friend's wedding, I saw a video of myself dancing. I was mortified to see myself move. If you're a Seinfeld fan, remember when George saw Elaine Benes dancing for the first time? What a hilarious scene! Here it is if you want to immerse yourself deep into this post.
I had that exact moment of disbelief myself when I saw the video.
That's when I put my dancing shoes away for a long time.
But s life without dancing isn’t that much fun.
As a yoga student these past fifteen years, I've become a friend again to my body. It feels good to be in my body and do the poses.
I learned to release all pent-up energy and tension by shaking, jumping, and swinging my limbs. There is no structure, no right or wrong.
Movement is healing. No wonder it's embraced by nearly everyone.
Since I gave up alcohol two-and-a-half years ago, I have renewed my interest in dancing. I want to learn all the moves, and I want to do them sober.
I'm still not a good dancer. I'm working on trusting my body to move as designed.
I'm confident I can dance again if I am patient with myself. Can I listen and allow my body to express itself?
What about you? Are you still dancing?
YOGA IS COMING IN OCTOBER
Online yoga classes start next month. Click here for the details.
My philosophy is to dance without concern for who may, or may not, be watching. Just enjoy yourself. You only live once! PS And I once won two tickets to a Police concert by winning a dance contest (true!)
I am with you in this one Ilona. I couldn’t dance even if my life depended on it. But this year I started a Rhythm class in the gym once a week which consists of basic dance moves. Even that is so hard for me. But I learned one thing in that class, if I keep on smiling and keep moving my feet and arms whichever way I can, I am fine. The idea is to enjoy not to do a performance. I even look forward to this class.