Nora inspired me, as I'm in the middle of that book. She talks about the neck (as her title suggests), and then I also heard a male comedian making fun of older women's necks, so I thought this is a topic I could sink my teeth into-unfortunately.
Thanks for the suggestion, Neera. I enjoy her writing. I think "I Feel Bad About My Neck" is the first book I've read by her. I guess you could say I'm coming into my Nora era. I don't think I'm funny when I compare myself to my husband. You got a taste of him the other day on our call. But I love the way Nora sees things, and I am on board with jumping on that vibe.
Humor is so underrated! If I weren't laughing, I'd be crying. I'm also a yoga practitioner who believes that our body suits are only temporary vehicles for our time here on earth. That helps me look at things differently, too.
This one really resonated with me, as I share all the same bodily observations. When I'm self-deprecating, my daughter says "Why are you talking to my mom that way? Would you say that to a friend?" It's a good reminder to be grateful we are here, to be kinder to ourselves.
Yes, let's be nicer to ourselves, and you're lucky Julianna sees it that way. Your mom always looks so happy and healthy when you post a picture of her. She must be a great role model!
All that you’ve said today is relevant to those of us in the senior demographic though my takeaway will be brief by comparison.
Living as long as we have, we are indeed blessed if, despite past errors, we can love ourselves for who we are, what we are and when we are. Only then can we be confident in loving our spouses, children, grandchildren and friends with the best of ourselves.
So true, Ilene. Loving ourselves is an excellent example for our kids and grandkids, too. I wish I had been more loving to myself earlier. I used to think that being nice to myself was selfish, when actually it's the opposite.
Ilona Goanos: For those with eyes to see, women in advanced age . . . 80s and higher . . . are often not "pretty for their age" but DOWNRIGHT BEAUTIFUL.
I have experienced it with women I dearly love (e.g., Aunts or Cousins) and Nancy is more radiant and beautiful now than when I met her 54 years ago, and wed her 52 years ago.
A woman is beautiful both in her appearance and in what she radiates from inside.
As a boy who grew up ADORING Mom; who early had innocent crushes on all the high-school and college girls; who met THE LOVE OF MY LIFE in the summer after First-Year of Law School -- affection and love of woman is NATURAL.
I honestly cannot conceive -- and would never want to live -- any other way.
To me, it is really quite normal, and normal for a boy turned man.
This was really fun and reminds me of the kinds of music games my husband and I play on road trips. Name appropriate songs for aging body parts. Hilarious!! Thank you!
First, any post that starts with song titles is a post for me! and then to continue with them in the post is my love language- eek, even if you're talking about aging and the things I'm also experiencing. 😂 I've always been an exerciser/mover of my body, but I sure wish I had taken better care of other things when I was younger like that big organ-the skin! Good read-especially the part about not directing your children-just happy to be in their lives watching their journey unfold. Amen to that! You are blessed.
My children are amazing human beings. I spent the afternoon with my son on Mother's Day and thought what a cool guy he is. My grandkids are pretty cool, too. I've got it going on for sure.
I’m in one of those “high awareness” parts of my journey and the beauty in your relections on the physical aspects of our changes and how they affect the rest of our awakening are glorious. Thank you.
Each body part you described, I vigorously nodded my head, YES!, me too! That’s exactly what’s happening. But I smiled, thanking my body for bringing me to this point. It has experienced so many magnificent and tragic events. Sometimes during my earlier years, I forgot to thank my body for its strength and ability to persevere. Now, I am incredibly grateful for bringing me to this point. And grateful for your sharing.
Well said, Jan. I spent so much time critiquing it but less so appreciating it. It has been through a lot, and I am grateful, too, that it keeps going, despite the wear and tear.
Your point about the neck being a silent narrator of life's hardships hit me hard. I’d never thought of it that way, but it's so true! It's like the body's diary that no one reads until the pages are creased and faded. It carries the weight of our untold stories, our worries, and our grief. It’s funny how we focus so much on the face, trying to maintain a façade, while the neck reveals what we try to hide. I wonder what other parts of our bodies are secretly keeping score, holding onto the invisible moments of our lives. Your perspective has shifted how I look at my own neck, and others.
I'm glad your neck has finally been promoted in the bodily hierarchy, Dr. A. My massage therapist used to say, "Your poor neck!" because it's always so damn tight. That's where I carry my stress, so it makes sense that outside matches the inside.
In retrospect, I no longer regret how I felt about myself as a young person because I have reached the understanding that all of it was part of a decades-long learning curve with all of its bumps and potholes. And you know what? I’m still on it with new realizations along the way. I’ve come to look at life as a cosmic puzzle; each time another piece falls into place whether it concerns accomplishments, failures,relations with friends/relatives or places I’ve traveled that were intriguing but not for the reasons I originally thought, I hear a loud internal“Ahah! of satisfaction. Call me nuts, but that’s the way I roll
Your comment reminded me of an analogy I heard along the way. Specifically, our lives are like tapestries; we can only see the back or wrong side of them while the front turns into something quite beautiful. Good/bad/neutral-it's all a part of the process.
Great suggestion, Fi. I have been to a pelvic floor therapist for another issue, and I am amazed at how helpful the p.t.'s are there. Thanks for putting this back on my radar.
I don't relate to this at all! (JK). LOL. Loved this, Ilona!
It's all good. You needed to be brought down a notch today 🤣
🤣
Oh my gosh, this is hilariously too true! Reminds me of Nora Ephron's, I Feel Bad About My Neck.
Nora inspired me, as I'm in the middle of that book. She talks about the neck (as her title suggests), and then I also heard a male comedian making fun of older women's necks, so I thought this is a topic I could sink my teeth into-unfortunately.
You said it, Paulette. I was telling Ilona, she has same sense of humor as Nora Ephron.
She does, Neera.
Thanks for the suggestion, Neera. I enjoy her writing. I think "I Feel Bad About My Neck" is the first book I've read by her. I guess you could say I'm coming into my Nora era. I don't think I'm funny when I compare myself to my husband. You got a taste of him the other day on our call. But I love the way Nora sees things, and I am on board with jumping on that vibe.
Loved this! I’m 76 and did all of it, it’s a hard journey we all need to take with humour
Humor is so underrated! If I weren't laughing, I'd be crying. I'm also a yoga practitioner who believes that our body suits are only temporary vehicles for our time here on earth. That helps me look at things differently, too.
This one really resonated with me, as I share all the same bodily observations. When I'm self-deprecating, my daughter says "Why are you talking to my mom that way? Would you say that to a friend?" It's a good reminder to be grateful we are here, to be kinder to ourselves.
Great essay!!!
Yes, let's be nicer to ourselves, and you're lucky Julianna sees it that way. Your mom always looks so happy and healthy when you post a picture of her. She must be a great role model!
Ilona,
All that you’ve said today is relevant to those of us in the senior demographic though my takeaway will be brief by comparison.
Living as long as we have, we are indeed blessed if, despite past errors, we can love ourselves for who we are, what we are and when we are. Only then can we be confident in loving our spouses, children, grandchildren and friends with the best of ourselves.
So true, Ilene. Loving ourselves is an excellent example for our kids and grandkids, too. I wish I had been more loving to myself earlier. I used to think that being nice to myself was selfish, when actually it's the opposite.
Ilona Goanos: For those with eyes to see, women in advanced age . . . 80s and higher . . . are often not "pretty for their age" but DOWNRIGHT BEAUTIFUL.
I have experienced it with women I dearly love (e.g., Aunts or Cousins) and Nancy is more radiant and beautiful now than when I met her 54 years ago, and wed her 52 years ago.
A woman is beautiful both in her appearance and in what she radiates from inside.
It's rare to see a man praise women at their advanced age. Thank you for being such a gem, Armand.
Ilona Goanos: YOU are the gem.
As a boy who grew up ADORING Mom; who early had innocent crushes on all the high-school and college girls; who met THE LOVE OF MY LIFE in the summer after First-Year of Law School -- affection and love of woman is NATURAL.
I honestly cannot conceive -- and would never want to live -- any other way.
To me, it is really quite normal, and normal for a boy turned man.
This was really fun and reminds me of the kinds of music games my husband and I play on road trips. Name appropriate songs for aging body parts. Hilarious!! Thank you!
I had finished writing the post, and inspiration hit. Glad you enjoyed it. I had fun with it.
First, any post that starts with song titles is a post for me! and then to continue with them in the post is my love language- eek, even if you're talking about aging and the things I'm also experiencing. 😂 I've always been an exerciser/mover of my body, but I sure wish I had taken better care of other things when I was younger like that big organ-the skin! Good read-especially the part about not directing your children-just happy to be in their lives watching their journey unfold. Amen to that! You are blessed.
My children are amazing human beings. I spent the afternoon with my son on Mother's Day and thought what a cool guy he is. My grandkids are pretty cool, too. I've got it going on for sure.
I’m in one of those “high awareness” parts of my journey and the beauty in your relections on the physical aspects of our changes and how they affect the rest of our awakening are glorious. Thank you.
The timing is perfect, right? If we had known then what we know now, we would probably have stayed the course anyway.
Loved this! So relatable!! Lolol!
Each body part you described, I vigorously nodded my head, YES!, me too! That’s exactly what’s happening. But I smiled, thanking my body for bringing me to this point. It has experienced so many magnificent and tragic events. Sometimes during my earlier years, I forgot to thank my body for its strength and ability to persevere. Now, I am incredibly grateful for bringing me to this point. And grateful for your sharing.
Well said, Jan. I spent so much time critiquing it but less so appreciating it. It has been through a lot, and I am grateful, too, that it keeps going, despite the wear and tear.
You look exactly like you did when I first met you in 1982. No, scratch that, even better than then!
You, toooooo, Mr. May. I ❤️ you.
You got me cracking. This should go into your book. Seems like Nora Ephron's soul got into you and made you write this essay. Absolutely loved it.
Yes, thanks to your recommendation. She sees the humor in every day things and I relate to her so much.
Your point about the neck being a silent narrator of life's hardships hit me hard. I’d never thought of it that way, but it's so true! It's like the body's diary that no one reads until the pages are creased and faded. It carries the weight of our untold stories, our worries, and our grief. It’s funny how we focus so much on the face, trying to maintain a façade, while the neck reveals what we try to hide. I wonder what other parts of our bodies are secretly keeping score, holding onto the invisible moments of our lives. Your perspective has shifted how I look at my own neck, and others.
I'm glad your neck has finally been promoted in the bodily hierarchy, Dr. A. My massage therapist used to say, "Your poor neck!" because it's always so damn tight. That's where I carry my stress, so it makes sense that outside matches the inside.
Ilona,
In retrospect, I no longer regret how I felt about myself as a young person because I have reached the understanding that all of it was part of a decades-long learning curve with all of its bumps and potholes. And you know what? I’m still on it with new realizations along the way. I’ve come to look at life as a cosmic puzzle; each time another piece falls into place whether it concerns accomplishments, failures,relations with friends/relatives or places I’ve traveled that were intriguing but not for the reasons I originally thought, I hear a loud internal“Ahah! of satisfaction. Call me nuts, but that’s the way I roll
Your comment reminded me of an analogy I heard along the way. Specifically, our lives are like tapestries; we can only see the back or wrong side of them while the front turns into something quite beautiful. Good/bad/neutral-it's all a part of the process.
Yes, exactly.
And if we are lucky, we may glimpse the front before we move on to our next phase.
Pelvic Floor Physical Therapy has been a game changer in the bladder department!
Great suggestion, Fi. I have been to a pelvic floor therapist for another issue, and I am amazed at how helpful the p.t.'s are there. Thanks for putting this back on my radar.