Giving Up Alcohol Was Hard, but Giving Up This Was Even Worse

Living in the present is the only way through.

Last month, I changed my Substack's name to “Pebble in Your Shoe” to write about things that impede people from living out their final chapter fully and joyfully. Big and small pebbles have a way of sidetracking us from embracing true fulfillment. After a few months of writing on this topic, I realized that new stones will always try to get back in our damn shoes.

When I wrote about giving up alcohol, the topic hit a nerve with many of you. Although I quit three and a half years ago, sobriety continues to test my commitment, even today. I stand firm that I don't want to return to drinking life, but I take it one day at a time. Still.

One day at a time, or even one minute at a time, is a great way to live.

But it turns out that pebbles are like whack-a-moles.

You eject one, and another pops in its place.

I allowed my sweet tooth to run wild as a reward for giving up wine. I was already doing a hard thing, so why not cut myself a little slack? What used to be a glass of wine while I cooked dinner was replaced with lemonade or cookies.

The good news is that the substitutions eliminated my reliance on alcohol, but the act of replacing one thing for another grew legs and feet.

One might say I went overboard.

Ten years ago, while drinking regularly, I received a pre-diabetes warning at my physical. So I lost a few pounds, which I thought fixed the problem, but I got another warning recently.

My A1C count was in the pre-diabetic range. The A1C test reveals your blood sugar levels for the past two to three months, so being "good" the day before your blood test will not fool the doctor. Yes, at age sixty, a grown-ass woman (me!) is trying to scam Labcorp and trick the doctor into believing I am the epitome of good habits and health.

Sour Patch Kids flavored Rita's Water Ice and Johnson's Caramel Popcorn coated my hemoglobin proteins with sugar. Blood tests do not lie.

My doctor advised that I go on a keto diet for one month to reset my insulin system.

Pebble meet shoe.

Those four weeks were horrific. You know I know about horrific if you read last week’s post.

I despised every minute without carbs. I was eating salads instead of pizza, eggs instead of Greek yogurt, and cauliflower rice instead of potatoes.

No bread. I love bread.

Did I say I couldn’t eat bread?

I ate a lot more meat and don't even like it. I am a former vegan/vegetarian, and I went back to eating meat only because I was worried about losing muscle and bone mass.

Because of this stringent diet, I had to read ingredient labels carefully because sugar and carbs hide everywhere. I also hadn’t realized how portion size has grown, and food has gotten more fattening. To educate yourself, read this week’s article by

Sara Eckel

about Why We’re Fat.

Keto overhauled my life.

I know sugar feeds cancer and inflammation, but I didn't realize how much I consumed and how addicted I was to it.

I've finished my one-month keto experiment and brought carbs back into my life. I'm handling my sweet tooth like I handled my wine cravings—I'm avoiding even one bite. If I eat one cookie or M&M, I will talk myself into another one. And that will be it.

I finally know me.

It's taken 60 years for me to figure out how to deal with my addictions. I'm a slow learner. I wouldn't have changed my carb-o-mania if the doctor hadn't stepped in.

I'm glad I'm off sugar. I'm happy to have reduced my carbohydrate load.

But man-oh-man, it is one day at a time. (Put that on my headstone, ok?)

Have you tried giving up something important to you, whether it’s food or a habit? I'd love to hear from you in the comments!

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Thanks to all who contacted me after reading last week's article. I appreciate your compassion and support.