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Candy Kennedy's avatar

I relate to this on a wholly different level, having reinvented myself after losing my spouse to cancer at 63. Now, four years later, I have learned to travel solo, serve various charities, blog and now have a newsletter, etc. I am a completely different iteration of the woman I was before. My life is joy-filled again with a twist of longing still for what was a remarkable marriage.

My travels will take me from Istanbul to Athens in October or I might have been tempted to join your gathering. How lovely!

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

Enjoy your trip! I am so impressed with you traveling solo and how your life has changed, yet it remains joy-filled. I'm going to send you a direct message because there's someone on Substack who would appreciate your wisdom.

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Paulette Bodeman's avatar

I've really enjoyed this series, Ilona, and how you've demonstrated with humor and grace how to "unstick" ourselves.

Your art class experience reminded me of a yoga workshop I attended years ago as a new teacher, where I was taught by a teacher who belittled the students in his instruction, showing me the kind of teacher I did not want to be.

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

Ah, yes, the yoga teachers. That's quite a crew, too. I think our stories offer valuable lessons on finding a teacher recommended by someone who shares your perspective. In case you can't get a referral, cross your fingers and say a prayer that you get the perfect teacher who will meet you where you're at.

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Paulette Bodeman's avatar

So true. The yoga world itself has been a training ground! I often felt as though I was working on a PhD in Life.

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Marlo Leaman's avatar

That’s horrible and not an expression of what yoga should be - welcoming and nonjudgmental! I’m sure you’re a better giver of yoga because of that!

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Paulette Bodeman's avatar

Marlo, it was terribly disappointing when I learned that the yoga world was imperfect and often filled with teachers driven by egos. We’re human after all, but it was disheartening.

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Marlo Leaman's avatar

Yes understandably! I think it’s same for priests/clergy as some people hold them to different standards and think they’re ’above’, but again, they are human too.

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Paulette Bodeman's avatar

Yes! Exactly, Marlo.

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Jill CampbellMason's avatar

I haven't said "yes" to enough, but I'm about to do so.

This morning, when I backed out of the driveway, it began to pour. I was headed to play tennis outside.

Well, that wasn't going to happen.

But when I went inside my husband pulled up the weather radar and said that the place I was going, just 10 miles southwest, wasn't raining. In fact, it was dry!

I went.

I played, ( with 7 other oldies but goodies) and now you've added another YES to my life with the affirmation!

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

I love your illustration of how easy it is to give up and not ask questions or challenge assumptions. We have been so conditioned to believe things on a surface level. Taking small chances is part of your "yes" journey. Well done, Jill!

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Veronica (Niki) Fielding's avatar

I love how you had gotten to a place in your life where someone's negativity was instantly thwarted and turned into a request that would make both of you better.

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

I love how you framed this, Niki. Had it been another time in my life, I would have rolled over. Thank you for seeing me and my progress.

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Jeanette Martin's avatar

Ah, what is it with some art teachers?

I LOVE how you found your way back to art, and no surprise, it came through an intuitive art setting. Creativity rarely feeds on fear, but. it might spark some righteous anger!

Looking forward to hearing about the Greece trip. Might join one day. Loved my sailing trip in the Ionian Islands a few years ago.

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

Cheers to righteous anger! It seems to be rising to the surface more and more as I age. You sailed the Ionian? How cool. The villas we will be staying at face the Ionian Sea. Stay tuned to find out where we go next year.

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Antoinette Truglio Martin's avatar

This is absolutely marvelous and inspiring. I can't wait to see and read about your adventures.

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

Thanks, Antoinette. On the trip, we will share many stories around an outdoor table.

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Kyen Jimwan's avatar

Beautiful post, thank you for this✨

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

I’ve broadened my definition of art. Art is everything. Art is life! Thanks for reading, Kyen.

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Ilene Winn-Lederer's avatar

I look forward to hearing from you!

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Ilene Winn-Lederer's avatar

Yes, in those days we were taught that teachers were authorities to be respected and obeyed. That attitude might have been good for keeping compliance and order in the classroom, but it also let them get away with all kinds of discrimination and abuse.

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Ilene Winn-Lederer's avatar

Thank you , Ilona for sharing your creative journey. Wherever we end up in life whether we recognized them or not, we’ve had many teachers to show us the steps in that process, for better or worse. I had to smile when you spoke of your intimidation by an art teacher who probably had confidence issues of her own which she expressed by attempting to damage her students own sense of confidence. It took me years to understand this as some of my own art teachers were equally destructive. I’m willing to share these experiences with you if you like but I don’t want to monopolize your space here. So if you want to continue this conversation privately you can DM me. Ilene

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

We do hold teachers in such high esteem, perhaps because our parents did. Teachers are human with their own biases and faults. Taking them off the pedestal requires an unlearning for sure. I will send you a note!

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Sue Ferrera's avatar

I love this post for so many different reasons. The story about the teacher, perfection. And congrats on your upcoming trip. I hope you will plan another one in the future that I might be able to attend. The remainder of this year I will no doubt be back and forth to the east coast to be with my grandchild, and hopefully on one of those visits I will get to meet with you! I can't wait to hear all about your retreat!

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

Yes, would love to have you on a future trip. I'm still deciding where, but I will discuss it here. Is your grandbaby ready to reveal herself yet?

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Sue Ferrera's avatar

Not yet, any day now.

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Armand Beede's avatar

Ilona Goanos: Everything about today's post is good and it is beautiful, not least, the photo.

You make so real the growth of the girl into the motivated and gifted woman.

The story of the young girl and her art teacher and your self-development is very fully developed and moves my heart.

I love your description of your husband, and I hope he adds beauty and LOVE, as you well deserve, in your life.

Each of your postings reaches the inner sanctum of my heart.

Your art, the beauty of the cultures, all of these bespeak the beauty that is human love and culture as created by Mother Nature.

As I respond, I am deeply sorrowful over the crisis in Teheran.

A broken clock is right twice a day, and in this RARE instance, I find myself in agreement, of all persons!!, with Tucker Carlson. The Iranian culture is beautiful. The regimes of the ayatollah are oppressive and threatening, but millions of people in Iran are good wage-earners and family persons who take just pride in an old, proud and beautiful culture. I want to eliminate nuclear threat. I am with the program in this measure: Eliminate a nuclear program. But it is a horror to think of massive destruction of an ancient and beautiful culture and an oppressed, good, good people. Negotiations are hard. Sometimes the best things in life are hard.

Like painting.

May the God of Abraham bring the Abrahamic peoples together!

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

This situation weighs heavily on my heart, too, Armand. What a terrible and reckless leader we have. God bless us all.

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Linda Hoenigsberg's avatar

That is so incredible (and that teacher was no teacher!). I once took a watercolor/pastel workshop. I was a beginner as well. Our teacher was arrogant, and took a liking to a young woman with a wild hand at painting. Another participant and I were commiserating about our failed work and the teacher heard us. "Thank you for coming, ladies," he said, obviously agreeing with our assessment of our work. The class did nothing to dampen my curiosity about art or painting, and I continued to learn...but under other, more helpful teachers. Have a wonderful time in Greece, Ilona!

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

Imperfect teachers are all over. I recall that I loved a gay yoga teacher named Bob. I attended all of his classes. His personality was effervescent, but he would never help me with the more difficult poses. He rarely helped any of his female students, only the guys. I think it's good to remember that teachers are human, with their own foibles. It's never a reflection on us.

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Linda Hoenigsberg's avatar

Yes!

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Vivian Barro's avatar

Thank you for sharing your journey in life. Keep rediscovering yourself, never stop! I have been to Greece and it is a magical place.

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

Thanks Vivian! I have been to several countries, and Greece is my favorite. Maybe it's because I spent so much time there. I love the people, the food, and the spectacular views. I can't wait to go back!

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