I can relate. At 45, I left a marriage of 22 years, with a sum total relationship of 27. My three teenaged sons had to decide which parent to live with and I had to live with being the one who broke our family.
Fourteen years later, I am happily married to my soulmate and my wusband found a woman who loves and accepts him as he is.
The timing is so similar - you at 45, me at 46. Both of us carrying that label: the one who broke the family. That's the part people don't talk about enough - how you have to be willing to be the "bad guy" to save your own life. Fourteen years out and happily married to your soulmate - that's hope. Thank you for this.
I went through an extremely painful year where my middle son did not speak to me. He was convinced I had been unfaithful.
A couple of years back, we had a ling walk and talk. He is married now and sees things differently. He talked about how angry he was and how now he sees how my relationship with my husband is good. How his dad and new wife are happy.
He understands that I made the right choice.
We do our children no favours by staying in a relationship that is not working.
So good, Ilona. It brought back memories of when I decided to leave my abusive husband, no matter what I thought God thought about it (or what I thought he was telling me to do). I was forty years old, and I was scared, but I knew I had to think for myself. Now I believe God would have been the first to approve, but that first step into thinking for myself was a big one. I'm so glad for you.
"No matter what I thought God thought about it" - yes. That's exactly it. Forty years old, scared, but knowing you had to think for yourself even if it meant defying what you believed God wanted. That's an act of profound courage. I love that you've come to believe God would have approved - but you're right, that first step into your own authority had to happen first. I'm so glad you got out. Thank you for sharing this.
I can relate. At 45, I left a marriage of 22 years, with a sum total relationship of 27. My three teenaged sons had to decide which parent to live with and I had to live with being the one who broke our family.
Fourteen years later, I am happily married to my soulmate and my wusband found a woman who loves and accepts him as he is.
It was the toughest, best decision of my life.
The timing is so similar - you at 45, me at 46. Both of us carrying that label: the one who broke the family. That's the part people don't talk about enough - how you have to be willing to be the "bad guy" to save your own life. Fourteen years out and happily married to your soulmate - that's hope. Thank you for this.
My pleasure.
I went through an extremely painful year where my middle son did not speak to me. He was convinced I had been unfaithful.
A couple of years back, we had a ling walk and talk. He is married now and sees things differently. He talked about how angry he was and how now he sees how my relationship with my husband is good. How his dad and new wife are happy.
He understands that I made the right choice.
We do our children no favours by staying in a relationship that is not working.
I wish you peace, love, and happiness.
So good, Ilona. It brought back memories of when I decided to leave my abusive husband, no matter what I thought God thought about it (or what I thought he was telling me to do). I was forty years old, and I was scared, but I knew I had to think for myself. Now I believe God would have been the first to approve, but that first step into thinking for myself was a big one. I'm so glad for you.
"No matter what I thought God thought about it" - yes. That's exactly it. Forty years old, scared, but knowing you had to think for yourself even if it meant defying what you believed God wanted. That's an act of profound courage. I love that you've come to believe God would have approved - but you're right, that first step into your own authority had to happen first. I'm so glad you got out. Thank you for sharing this.