I Quit Alcohol After 35 Years

Here's How You Can Too

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Photo by Corina Rainer on Unsplash

I remember my first sip of beer.

It was bubbly and left a frothy foam mustache. I can still feel and hear the soft popping on my upper lip.

I thought, “Am I drunk yet?”

I waited for something to happen. I yearned for the mysterious feeling of being drunk. The beer tasted so sour that I hated it and didn’t drink it again for a long time.

As a kid, I thought I would become drunk if I drank the tiniest sip of alcohol. My parents were from a culture with no legal drinking age and were old-school strict about most things yet curiously lenient with alcohol.

When I was 17, I was allowed to go to the beach with a few older high school friends. We rented a hotel room where we drank booze and smoked cigarettes.

I felt so grown up.

For the next 35 years, drinking was integral to my life.

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My Drinking Habits Changed When I Became a Parent

Three school-aged kids kept me running. Work and home life were stressful. My relationship with alcohol changed from easy-going to something more urgent.

A glass or two took the edge off a night of homework, dinner, and bed. My vocabulary changed from “I’d like” to “I need” wine.

With age, my weight started creeping up. I used to eat whatever I wanted without consequences. Then food started sticking to me, and I looked to make cuts to my diet.

Wine should have been at the top of the list. For me, that wasn’t an option. I habitually drank a glass of wine or two while I cooked dinner. I also liked to party on the weekends with friends.

Didn’t I deserve these small pleasures?

Instead, my answer was to eat more salads and fewer carbs (and cookies!)

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How I Started To See the Problems with Drinking

It wasn’t until much later that my drinking habit changed. A career move started the metamorphosis. With my kids grown up, I moved to a new state, leaving my corporate job behind.

I was shocked when I couldn’t find a position after a 35-year career. The repeated rejections were disheartening. I took a break from the job search and enrolled in yoga teacher training.

My first job was instructing yoga to people in recovery from substance use disorder. I taught at halfway houses, behavioral health facilities, and the psychiatric wing of our local hospital.

Many of my students suffered from anxiety and other mental health problems. Yoga provided tools to cope better.

Working with addicts made my heart sing more than any previous job. The students I met were down-to-earth and unpretentious. Most of all, they were grateful for my classes.

Our organization ran a studio where people could practice yoga for free, and the only requirement was 48 hours of continuous sobriety before attending class. One day, my boss announced that this rule also applied to teachers.

I taught on Sunday mornings. Drinking alcohol was a constant for me, especially on Saturday nights.

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How I Finally Quit Drinking

Sobriety — what did that mean exactly? I wasn’t in recovery like my students. Was I considered sober if I drank one glass? What about two?

Like when I was a child, I didn’t know when I crossed the threshold from sobriety to being drunk.

How could I expect my students to abide by the 48-hour rule if I couldn’t do it myself? The line between my students and me was razor-thin.

I had been trying to cut back for years, but alcohol was a powerful foe.

I discovered there were others like me questioning their relationship with alcohol. I learned a new term called ‘gray area drinking.’

With gray area drinking, a person doesn’t have an alcohol use disorder but exhibits negative behaviors around drinking.

I questioned whether there was anything positive about drinking alcohol. There wasn’t.

The month before the pandemic, I ended my relationship with alcohol once and for all.

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How You Can Have a Healthier Relationship with Alcohol

Here are some ideas to look at your drinking habit in a new way.

1. Shift Your Language from “Need” to “Want.”

The words we use are telling about our relationship with alcohol. Catch yourself the next time you say, “I need a glass of wine.” Is that true? Is alcohol so important to you that it’s up there with clean air, food, and shelter?

There’s a difference between needing something and merely wanting it. The word “need” means you can’t do without it. This question may be a rabbit hole you want to avoid, but there may be a-ha moments along the way.

2. Alcohol Is A Business That Benefits From You Coming Back For More.

The United States is soaked in alcohol culture. It’s not only a societal norm but you will be interrogated if you don’t imbibe. My parents insisted that a guest always had a full glass. If someone dared to say no, they would relentlessly persuade the person to reconsider, like it was their mission in life.

Alcohol products are big business. According to Alcohol.org, the global population consumes 446 billion liters of beer, wine, and spirits yearly. China is the leader in manufacturing, with the United States as number two.

Group-think about drinking is an efficient business model for the wine and spirits industry to have its customers pressuring others to consume. Not to mention the auxiliary products that go along with drinking: mommy sippy cups, specialty bar items, t-shirts, and dish towels, to name a few.

3. Alcohol Is A Sugar Craving — So Substitute It With Something Else.

You may have regular times in the day when you want to have a drink. For me, it was around 4 p.m. My glucose would drop, and I needed something (wine) to quell the urge. I started substituting juice instead while I prepared dinner. I knew that if I started with one glass of wine, I wouldn’t be able to turn away a second.

I have never thought about any substance more than I thought about alcohol.

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Alcohol-free Means I’m Free And Open to New Possibilities

The new room in my brain lends itself to creative bursts and a good night’s sleep. My mind is clear. I am no longer concerned with planning, shopping, or obtaining my next dose of alcohol. I never realized how much energy all that took away from me.

I remember my first sip but also my last. I’m proud of myself. I will never give away my power to alcohol again.

What is your relationship with drinking? Does the bottle hold more power than you?