During the discussion of how women still try to make their own death as comfortable as possible for OTHER people, I realized I was doing the same thing. I've been worrying about upsetting my adult children (daughter especially) with my green burial plans. Ideally, my body is wrapped in a shroud and put in the grave. I was considering the extra cost of a biodegradable casket (something pretty and soothing like willow) so she wouldn't have to see my body shape. I need to talk to her about this part, and hopefully I have a good 20-30 years left. I've paid for the burial plots and filled out my POA and Will, and this talk is just as important!
I am glad you made it to that part because it is very important. It’s a whole thing we do and we GOTTA stop doing it. I’m getting a green burial too. So much better for the planet.
Ilona, this was a truly impactful discussion. Thank you for introducing us to Kacie and her work. After I went through the death process with my parents, I considered getting involved in death-related work. I wish I had known about her school at that time.
Ilona, thank you for that much-needed information and for introducing Kacie and that much-needed work. Today marks my mother death's anniversary and when she got sick and passed away I received 0 support from the nurses and doctors and no support from the rest of the family as they didn't care. I was alone with my mother as she lay dying and later in the day my uncle and aunt appeared not knowing that my mother was actually dying. I was very grateful for their presence even though no words were spoken about the pain and the grief surrounding her last hours. Same thing for my father, brother and sisters. Now, I live with complicated grief. Books are my daily companions now and I just started reading books by Stephen Levine. I had those books for years and I couldn't bring myself to read them. We need more people like you and Kacie who are not afraid to talk about death and grief.
I totally feel you. I had similar experiences even though I was with and around people who loved me. I didn't feel seen as a daughter with complicated relationships with both of my parents on their deathbeds, respectively. It wasn't easy, as I'm sure you know, and Death Doula Kacie has shown there is another way for people like us, of which I'm sure there are many.
During the discussion of how women still try to make their own death as comfortable as possible for OTHER people, I realized I was doing the same thing. I've been worrying about upsetting my adult children (daughter especially) with my green burial plans. Ideally, my body is wrapped in a shroud and put in the grave. I was considering the extra cost of a biodegradable casket (something pretty and soothing like willow) so she wouldn't have to see my body shape. I need to talk to her about this part, and hopefully I have a good 20-30 years left. I've paid for the burial plots and filled out my POA and Will, and this talk is just as important!
I am glad you made it to that part because it is very important. It’s a whole thing we do and we GOTTA stop doing it. I’m getting a green burial too. So much better for the planet.
Ilona, this was a truly impactful discussion. Thank you for introducing us to Kacie and her work. After I went through the death process with my parents, I considered getting involved in death-related work. I wish I had known about her school at that time.
I also find death doula work appealing. Kacie is doing important much needed work making a bridge between the medical system and families.
So much useful information and I thought I had everything in order. Thank you both for sharing this.
Ilona, thank you for that much-needed information and for introducing Kacie and that much-needed work. Today marks my mother death's anniversary and when she got sick and passed away I received 0 support from the nurses and doctors and no support from the rest of the family as they didn't care. I was alone with my mother as she lay dying and later in the day my uncle and aunt appeared not knowing that my mother was actually dying. I was very grateful for their presence even though no words were spoken about the pain and the grief surrounding her last hours. Same thing for my father, brother and sisters. Now, I live with complicated grief. Books are my daily companions now and I just started reading books by Stephen Levine. I had those books for years and I couldn't bring myself to read them. We need more people like you and Kacie who are not afraid to talk about death and grief.
I totally feel you. I had similar experiences even though I was with and around people who loved me. I didn't feel seen as a daughter with complicated relationships with both of my parents on their deathbeds, respectively. It wasn't easy, as I'm sure you know, and Death Doula Kacie has shown there is another way for people like us, of which I'm sure there are many.
Such an important conversation. Thanks for doing this. I won’t be able to stay for the entire conversation now but will definitely listen later.
Thanks, Geetika, for being here. I just sent the link out to all subscribers.