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Lazarus NJ's avatar

Great piece by Dr. A. I could almost taste the bread that he was describing. This week's post was possibly the best thing since sliced...err, well, you know. And I'm a pretty tough critic because I'm New Jersey-born-and-bread... OK, OK, I'll stop here with the puns before everyone gets crusty. But seriously, this post about bread was Wonder-ful!

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

Some of these jokes are pretty stale. Sorry : /

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Alexander Lovell, PhD's avatar

These puns are proof that bread jokes never get stale. Sorry. Couldn’t resist. Your comment cracked me up. Beneath the puns, though, there’s something I love, that humor and heart can live in the same space. 🩵

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Yvonne's avatar

I think for me was the fact that practically every mother I knew didn't bake bread and I wanted to fit in with the other kids because they were all eating store-bought bread and it look more dainty? than a thick piece of bread in a lunch box. Crazy, I know. Thanks for your reply.

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

That's how kids think! I would have felt the same.

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Yvonne's avatar

Thank you!

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Alexander Lovell, PhD's avatar

Yvonne, this is so tender. I get what you mean about wanting to fit in. As kids, those small differences felt enormous. Homemade bread wasn’t “cool,” but now it feels like one of the most beautiful signs of care there is. Funny how time changes what we value.

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Yvonne's avatar

Thank you for your reply! I feel understood.

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Bill Alstrom (MA/Maine/MA)'s avatar

I think lumpy, bumpy loaves of bread look and taste better. They look unique and less "factory" sourced. And sometimes they actually smile.

Make mine a sourdough rye, please!

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Alexander Lovell, PhD's avatar

Mmmmm... a sourdough rye sounds deeeelightful! Thank you for reading! 🩵

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

On its way! We aim to please....

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Nancy Stordahl's avatar

Hi Ilona and Alex,

I'm a big fan of Aex's writing/Substack, so it was a nice surprise to find and read his guest post.

I'm not a person who bakes bread. I have made cinnamon rolls, not from scratch, but I did roll the dough out and shaped and baked them. My grandma used to make buns from scratch, and to this day I can imagine the smell and anticipation of eating a freshly baked bun. Bliss.

Of course, the moral to this story isn't really about bread, so one could slip in any baked item one wishes. Pie, cookies, or whatever. No matter what I bake, my creations rarely turn out perfectly, and that's not what matters anyway. It's what makes this essay meaningful. We're all a work in progress - as are our baking skills. Most of us are healing from something. As Alex wrote, time, presence, patience - we need to give that to ourselves, too.

Thanks for the delightful read, Alex, and thank you for featuring it Ilona. And yes, butter generally makes things taste even better.

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

Thank you, Nancy. When we're sick, so many things seem out of our control. When more things pile on, everything feels hard. Yes, presence and patience are the opposite of what we want at the time. Dr. A has a beautiful way of teaching us.

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Alexander Lovell, PhD's avatar

Your mention of your grandma’s buns hit something tender. I can almost smell that kitchen too. Food has this way of holding memory that words can’t quite reach. It’s like the scent carries a lineage of care that keeps showing up, even when the people don’t. Thank you for reading, my friend. 🩵

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Deborah Thompson's avatar

I loved this piece, as usual, Ilona! I do have a bread story to share - one day :))

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

During COVID, I experimented with baking. Despite all the time I had to do it, my loaves were never beautiful, nor did they taste good. I guess I have a story, too!

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Alexander Lovell, PhD's avatar

Funny how bread keeps showing up as a witness to our lives. I can't wait to hear 🩵

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Michelle Lindblom's avatar

What a wonderful story on the process of healing through the analogy of baking bread.

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

I agree! Every culture bakes their own bread, so Dr. A's words can be understood by almost everyone.

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Alexander Lovell, PhD's avatar

Thank you, Michelle. I love that you caught the thread of healing in it. Bread feels like such an ordinary thing, but somehow it holds the whole story of becoming human again.

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Yvonne's avatar

Thank you! Beautifully written. We are all imperfect, flawed, looking better some days and not so on other days just like your loaf of bread. How I miss my mother home-baked bread! Nothing like it even though I didn't appreciate it like I should when I was a kid. Now I would give everything to have her home-baked bread. I wish someone would have taught me to appreciate the good things of life, then. Now, I have great appreciation for everything good thing that come my way.

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

My mother never baked bread, but my daughter does, and boy do I appreciate it. I think as you get older, you develop your gratitude muscle. As a child, you think everyone gets to eat bread like this. You just don't have a reference point.

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Cindy Hansen's avatar

Deep and complex message wrapped up in a relatedly misshapen, warm, comforting loaf of bread. Thank you for sharing a slice!

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

Right on, Cindy. Something as simple as bread has a lot to teach us, and bonus: it nourishes us too! Although the thought of a mill is overwhelming...

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Cindy Hansen's avatar

I got overwhelmed with trying to keep sourdough starter alive. The guilt when it died and got moldy! Ugh. It's a wonder my kids are still alive in their 40s.

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

I did the sour dough starter thing during COVID. It did not go well. All the time in the world to make this project succeed, but no. My kids are alive because they know how to feed themselves and my grandkids. So much different than 30+ years ago when I was cooking for them.

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Alexander Lovell, PhD's avatar

What a kind way to see it. Thank you for reading so closely and catching both the warmth and the imperfection.

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Leah Rampy's avatar

What a great essay. We’re all facing our own depressed bread and wondering if it’s worth it. Just gotta keep the butter coming!

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

Always with butter. Thank you for reading, Leah.

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Alexander Lovell, PhD's avatar

Leah, this made me smile. I love that — “keep the butter coming.” There’s something deeply wise in that, isn’t there? A reminder that tenderness and small pleasures can carry us through the tough stretches.

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Yvonne's avatar

Thank you for your reply! I feel understood.

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Marlo Leaman's avatar

What a science experiment using extreme patience and curiosity. And yes. Butter. More butter!!

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