Permission Granted: You’re Allowed To Suck When Attempting Something New

Hark! Who goes there and other nonsense.

Me in Santa Elena, Costa Rica, a year ago

Fresh out of my poetry class, I came up with this:

I am awkward as fuck

Just listen to my podcast

Or read my poetry

Tough luck

Do you love it? I'm a novice, but at least I’m having fun.

But being new is unsettling. I keep asking myself if I'm doing this right because extracting each word onto the page feels like prying open a blossom.

This week, we were asked to write a poem about our thighs. Right off the bat, I was coming up empty. Thighs are thighs, right?

But then we listened to the powerful poem “Thighs” by Desireé Dallagiacomo.

Did you ever listen to something and have it hit you in all the wrong places? When I say wrong, I mean uncomfortable, but ultimately, they're the RIGHT places, making you want to cry, scream, or ululate simultaneously. My thighs announced they had something to say.

Oh yes, sirree. Thanks, Desireé, for the inspo.

Poetry's been the re-awakening I didn't know I needed.

For so long, poetry repelled me even though things started out pretty good. When our teacher had us memorize Joyce Kilmer's poem "Trees" in third grade, my child’s heart floated to the top of a celestial canopy. I’ve loved trees ever since.

Do you know this one?

Trees by Joyce Kilmer

I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree. 

A tree whose hungry mouth is prest
Against the earth’s sweet flowing breast; 

A tree that looks at God all day,
And lifts her leafy arms to pray; 

A tree that may in Summer wear
A nest of robins in her hair; 

Upon whose bosom snow has lain;
Who intimately lives with rain. 

Poems are made by fools like me,
But only God can make a tree.

The next poetic experience wasn’t til high school when Percy Bysshe Shelley and Shakespeare slogged in. Their bombastic words fell flat, yet I was supposed to understand what these ancient dead guys were saying.

If you vibe with the Brits, well, la-di-dah. No, thank you.

You probably didn't have the bad luck to be assaulted with thee's and thou's while sitting across from Donna Kasmark, who spent class turning her eyelids inside out.

I swore poetry off after that.

My poetry ban lasted until my Bodylove class, which I wrote about here. Why wait so long to give poetry another chance? Well, I wasn't ready for one thing. For a long time, I closed off my feelings so I could endure an unhappy marriage, an emotionally ill mother, and a soul-sucking job.

No feelings, no openness, no creativity.

Emotions must be free to shimmy, jiggle, and percolate to enter a poem.

A collection of curated words packed with emotion—that's what poetry is, innit? See, I can use Brit-speak when I want to and be as cheeky as the next bloke.

I permit myself to suck so I can shape words like Play-Doh. I carry this grace over to my podcast, where I fumble some more. It's ok, though. It's part of it. You have to start badly to be good. Every day, I get better, and so can you.

I henceforth dub thee brave and powerful to try something new. Go forth, chaps, and flourish!

When was the last time you tried something new? Let me know in the comments. Better yet, write a poem for all of us to enjoy!

This Week’s Podcast Features Denise Stensland!

When I moved to New Jersey nine years ago, I had to leave old friends behind. Being kidless in a strange place was a new experience that threw me for a loop. I was used to the community where I raised my family for the past twenty years, and now I had to rely on myself to make new connections.

After the strictest pandemic restrictions were lifted, I enrolled in an in-person process painting class, hoping to meet someone with whom to connect. Signing up turned out to be a wise move because it was there that I met my friend Denise. She turned me on to the local art community and explained some history about my town.

I admire her because she sees things completely differently than I do. She’s quirky, fun, 100% touchy-feely, and now in her late 50s, just coming into her stride.

I hope you enjoy our chat. This was the only interview that was done in person at Denise’s request. She said it’s a different vibe when people are together in one room. Did I mention that she’s wise?

Enjoy :)