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Maggie Doucette's avatar

Ilona, your tribute to Polly is so moving and heartfelt. It brought me back to the loss of my first dog. It was devastating and thought I could never love another the same way. But over time, I realized something profound: it wasn’t just about the presence of my dog—it was about who I became when I was with them. Our dogs bring out the best parts of us: patience, joy, love, and connection. Polly helped you discover those parts of yourself, and they’ll always be with you 💜.

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

I never thought of it that way. You're right--dogs bring out the best in most of us. Appreciate you, Maggie!

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Karen Rand Anderson's avatar

Maggie.. you stated it perfectly. It;'s about who we become through our connection with them. My little Ginger has brought out the best in me over the past 10 years... I am deeply blessed with her as my life companion.I know she will need to leave some day, and reading Ilona's tribute to Polly reminds me how healing it can be to write of grief.

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

Thanks Karen! Give Ginger a kiss from me.

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Maggie Doucette's avatar

Karen, it’s amazing how our companions quietly teach us so much about love and resilience. Ginger sounds like a gift, and writing through grief does seem to honor what they’ve given us.

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Diana Strinati Baur's avatar

I'm so sorry for this huge loss. You gave Polly a wonderful life, and she gave you all she was. Our pets are angels. Much love.

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

"She gave you all she was..." That is so beautiful and I'll keep that sentiment close to my heart. Thanks, Diana.

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Tara Bryant-Gray's avatar

Hi my buds, Ilona and LG,

The shock of the suddenness made me feel protective of you both, and I hate that you had to endure that body blow. I think this piece of the loss will take a long time to heal from. Your beautiful articulation of all of the ways Polly shepherded you into your next chapter touched me. Thinking of you in the big house in 2016 and the long days you described makes me even more grateful for Polly’s many gifts and of how she facilitated your reconnection to a world who needed your voice and heart. I certainly felt a part of that world, and still do.

Sending love to you guys, and the family. We are thinking of you all.

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

Thanks for your empathy and compassion, Tara. Your words touched my heart.

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Lynne Goldman's avatar

Goodbye sweet Polly. Xoxo 😘😘

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

thanks friend

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Jahpeth Steven's avatar

People who loves dog loves humanity

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

Thanks Jahpeth! I have friends though who say they love animals more than people...

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Jahpeth Steven's avatar

Amazing to hear sorry to say I text you on your DM but you haven't reply me yet

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Angela Bigler, Goddess's avatar

My heart goes out to you. I can see how cherished and loved Polly was - what a gift you’ve been to each other! Each time I lose a dog I think I’m going to die but somehow I go on and imagine them walking with me and inevitably a new wagging tail finds its way to me, each one so different and difficult and wonderful. Love and love and love to you ❤️

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

"Each one so different and difficult and wonderful" --love that line, Angela. As one of the commenters said, pets bring out the best in us. Thanks for the love and sending it right back atcha 🤍

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Corie Feiner's avatar

I am so sorry for your loss, Ilona.

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

thanks, Corie ❤️‍🩹

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Cherie Lee's avatar

I’m so sorry, Ilona. Thanks for sharing Polly with us.

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

Thanks, Cherie 🤍

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Alexander Lovell, PhD's avatar

Reading about Polly's passing brought tears to my eyes.

The bond we share with our pets is so unique, and the grief we experience when they're gone is a testament to the love we shared. It's a love that changes us, isn't it? Thank you for so beautifully capturing that in your writing. 🩵

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

A pet's love changes us for the better. Thanks for reminding me about the effects of a loving relationship's reciprocity.

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Kirie Pedersen's avatar

Oh Ilona, I am just heartbroken for you. I can't bear the thought of waking to your beloved and your shared rituals, and instead finding her stiff and unresponsive. And then finding out that somehow she was leaving, and of course you couldn't inflict the trauma of surgery on your sweetheart. Please know that your loss is one of the most powerful kinds of loss, because these souls love us unconditionally, and we love them the same. Please wrap yourself in a blanket of love.

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

It does feel powerful, and I never thought of it that way. She was only 70 lbs, and in my life for a short time, but what an impact. Thanks, Kirie, for saying that. I have gotten such comfort from the compassionate and wise comments here.

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SheilaE's avatar

I’m so sorry for your loss of dear Polly, Ilona. Your story made me cry, for your family and for all the perfect pooches we have loved and lost over the years. They are never forgotten…but it always feels so unfair that they have such short lives. You saved her, loved her, gave her the best life possible, and she loved you back. Your grief is real; crying is OK. Take your time before getting a new companion. Savor all your wonderful memories of Polly. 😢💖😢

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

Thanks, Sheila. My husband and I talk about her every day. What will I do with the chicken giblets without her to eat them? My husband took her to the local deli every weekend and she waited patiently in the car while he made his purchases. Then she got a treat for being such a good girl. Sometimes she was so quiet in the car, we forgot she was there. So many memories! Appreciate your sweet words of advice.

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Bill Alstrom (MAtoMainetoMA)'s avatar

This was a beautiful tribute and remembrance. For all of us who have dogs, had dogs, loved dogs, these moments of departure are emotional bombs. I guess, just as with human people, we are best served to dwell on the appreciation. But the loss must be felt. It has a mind of its own. My deepest condolences to you and yours.

Our Sophie is 12. She recently had an event - Vestibular disease. Stopped eating, couldn't walk properly. We thought we were going to the vet for the last time. But despite the fact that they don't know what causes it, this disease is usually short lived. Within 10 days the old girl was a "perky puppy" again!

So we are especially grateful this Thanksgiving. This holiday will be tough for you. So sorry you lost your friend....

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

Thanks, Bill. After the election, it was a real one-two punch. An emotional bomb is an excellent descriptor for what happened to us.

I'm glad your Sophie rallied. The aging process and its assorted ailments are painful to witness in our fur babies. It's bad enough when it's happening to us and our parents.

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Daniel Howley's avatar

Grieving a person doesn't always immediately allow the same full expression of sadness and loss we may feel from losing a pet. With people we can still be aggrieved over times long past with our own shortcomings and what we supposed were theirs, and the crap everyone endured during their care because super wealthy people still get better healthcare. So there might be more anger and unpleasantness thrown in before love and sadness take over. I am not a cat person but I had a great cat that loved to play and was very affectionate. It was originally feral as a kitten and learned to trust us, and grew to adulthood, but was hit by a car so it was a very sudden loss. It was the distillation of the best cat ever. I loved him. I have had several dogs to mourn as well. Three of them were taken by cancer over the broad span of my life. I am pretty old in dog years.

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

I was comparing my grief for my dog to that of my immediate circle of family and friends. My grief feels different, less tainted by the complications of human relationships. Thanks, Daniel, for pointing out that nuance. I'm also pretty old in dog years, too! Woof!

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Daniel Howley's avatar

Haha

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OCTAVIA EVER AFTER's avatar

💜💜💜

Rest in perfect paradise Perfect Polly. 💜💜💜

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

I know wherever she is, it will be perfect. Thanks, Octavia, for your beautiful words.

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Dr. Leslie Faerstein's avatar

What a beautiful tribute to your beloved dog. Thank you for sharing your experience with us - so many of us know what it is like to lose a pet and so many others don't understand that grief. Sending you and your family love.

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

Polly has brought me to a new understanding of grief from pet loss. This is a whole other level! Thanks for your loving words, Leslie. You are much appreciated.

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Paulette Bodeman's avatar

Oh, Ilona, I am so so sorry for the loss of Polly. My heart goes out to you and your husband. I've lost two dogs in less than two years, and it is so painful. Pets are such a gift of grace in our lives. Sending you love.

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

I remember you lost one of your dogs not too long ago. You understand how this feels, and that is indeed a comfort. Thank you❤️

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Paulette Bodeman's avatar

The hurt and sadness is real.

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