While I am subtracting 50 points from him being a pest in the first place and for saying he only gives attention to attractive "women," I give him 5 points for calling us women instead of girls, as in, he only says hi to the new girls. 😂 And I give you 100 points for not going along with his nonsense, Ilona.
Yes, he might have gotten the memo about not calling 60 year olds girls. I hope he also learned something from our encounter, although I'm not holding my breath. The entitlement is REAL.
Bravo Ilona! I know what you're talking about. Just the other day a group of 'religious' men who feel that I should be 'saved' told me that I should smile because I was prettier when I smile. I wasn't expected that remark so I was totally unprepared but I still manage to say to that I smile when I feel like it. They didn't see their remark as inappropriate but a compliment as they ended by saying that I had a magnificent smile that lit the entire room when I walked in. Many men haven't evolved at all. Sorry for the mistakes as English is not my first language. I probably mentioned that in a previous post. Love your post! You're the best! Let us stand together against those morons.
Yvonne, your English is terrific, no need to apologize. “You should smile more” is one of the phrases that really makes my blood boil. I’m glad you said what you said to them. Imagine the audacity and entitlement to think you owe them your smile. That you are their’s to gaze upon. WTF!!!!
Yes, let’s work together to return to the matriarchy. Lord knows the patriarchy is not working. Thanks for reading and for your comment ❤️
Just came back from a trip to Ireland with a group of ladies, most of whom I had never met before.
During dinner at one hotel, we watched men cruising on the golf course in a small sedan. What on earth? Asked the server if this was usual and allowed? Absolutely not, she looked shocked.
After dinner, we decided to go for a walk. As we round the building, I see the car, a golf cart and four grey haired men. I whisper, I think that’s the car, let’s go quickly.
One of the ladies chooses to engage. Her friends keep walking. I feel pompous arse energy from these guys. I turn around and walk back.
No woman left behind is my motto. The cocky man looks at me and says. What’s the matter, are you jealous that she is getting all the attention?
My response. Absolutely not, just waiting for my friend, accompanied by a look of disgust.
There is no age limit to mens’ entitlement nor their cruel manipulation. No way I was leaving this woman with four men who obviously didn’t respect boundaries.
We need to be fierce for ourselves and one another.
As my husband said to me, it is time to confront casual misogyny directly.
That guy who addressed you was an ass. You’re right—there is no end to their sense of entitlement. Its also wise for you to wait for your friend. One of the commenters to this article said to me “DO NOT engage” and I wish I hadn’t because now the gym guy seeks me out to chat. Non-engagement solves 90% of the problem, and I need to get better at it Thanks Patricia for the compliment and positive energy.
Agreed. I have another example for you. I recently took my friend to the hospital for the cast on her hand to get changed. She is currently receiving treatment for a brain tumour which messed up her balance, resulting in a fall that broke her wrist in two places.
She needs to use a wheelchair now because of the balance issues. So we go into the treatment room and there’s a man, not sure if his exact age, maybe 50s Gen X.
I stepped into the room first and she followed me. He said she needed to back in. I asked her if she wanted me to move to make more room and she said it was fine. He pipes up and says oh you better move because you know women can’t drive.
I wiggled my finger at them and said hey Ron, come here for a sec Justin behind the curtain where no one can see. He said are you gonna smack me? I said yes, yes I am and gave an evil grin.
Afterwards, I asked my girlfriend if I shouldn’t have said anything to him. She thought it was perfect. When I got home, I told My Husband what I did and he told me that he was proud of me. He said that it was about time people spoke up to stop casual misogyny in its tracks
I have run into this when I get estimates for work on my house. I am retired, own my house, am financially stable, and enjoy my life. I would never consider myself attractive. I am friendly. On three occasions, the person providing the estimate has suggested getting together. One showed up on a weekend day and offered to help with yard work. It has gotten to the point that I do not have anything repaired because of this past history. Do I need to hire someone to play my significant other for these meetings? Also, I do not think any of these men were necessarily creeps. Just really, really lonely.
That is a very sad conclusion, and I’ve heard it before. The loneliness epidemic for men is something they have to dig themselves out of. It’s not hard to do, and it doesn’t involve going to a woman’s house that they barely know.
Love your response to him and I get just wanting to be left alone and you should be. I do have a smidgen of sympathy for the old farts though who probably think they are making our day with a compliment.
I will admit that I appreciate the admiring glances that I still very occasionally get from men, I think because I never thought of myself as attractive even when I was! But an appreciative glance is very different from an actual approach! That I would not appreciate.
Well said! Yeah, I used to give the “old farts” the benefit of the doubt, too, but this just feeds into their sense of entitlement. I prefer attempting to teach new tricks to old dogs. If they’re shocked and put out by this new information (it’s not really new), that tells me all i need to know.
The thought of those “muscle-y meatheads hogging the machines” made me giggle, Ilona. Great imagery in that phrase.
Being single as I am in my late-60s, it is my observation that most women can be alone, whereas older men tend to always be looking for the next companion. Perhaps loneliness plays into attempts at conversation, however that kind of attention is never warranted!
I think you're right, Candy. There is supposed to be a male loneliness epidemic, but my experience is that they always have used these types of lines to make their way in.
As you found out, any type of engagement with these morons is a green light. I have rehearsed over and over, through the years, DO NOT ENGAGE! This goes for all types of morons but especially for those entitled fools who mistakenly think we want to engage with them. I have mastered THE LOOK which my kids will attest to and then just turn away. Those entitled fools really dislike that and I can go on with my day. But bravo for returning to the gym!!!
This will be very hard for me to do, Jan. I know you’re right, and responding to someone speaking to me, no matter how annoying, is my old good girl programming. Headphones might help as a first line of defense.
Yeah. I hear you…been there. I’m glad you said what you said to him. He needs someone to call him on that BS. At least now you know one person to avoid there.
Well Susan, my comment may have emboldened him. He sort of mumbled his regret about something or other when he saw the next time. He now comes over to chat every time he finds me. Turns out he was a lawyer turned politician and he went to Harvard undergrad. He finds himself so interesting 🤣 🤣
Yes, I do love it. I kind of avoided signing up even though I needed it because of COVID. And given how no one cleans the machines, I clean them before and after I get on.
I agree with that approach, Cécile, and did it myself for a while. Especially during COVID i bought the equipment, but my bone density numbers are getting worse. Nothing replaces the heavier machines like the leg press to get in those trouble spots. I will suffer on and do my best to aggravate the men at the gym if they deserve it.
While I am subtracting 50 points from him being a pest in the first place and for saying he only gives attention to attractive "women," I give him 5 points for calling us women instead of girls, as in, he only says hi to the new girls. 😂 And I give you 100 points for not going along with his nonsense, Ilona.
Yes, he might have gotten the memo about not calling 60 year olds girls. I hope he also learned something from our encounter, although I'm not holding my breath. The entitlement is REAL.
Bravo Ilona! I know what you're talking about. Just the other day a group of 'religious' men who feel that I should be 'saved' told me that I should smile because I was prettier when I smile. I wasn't expected that remark so I was totally unprepared but I still manage to say to that I smile when I feel like it. They didn't see their remark as inappropriate but a compliment as they ended by saying that I had a magnificent smile that lit the entire room when I walked in. Many men haven't evolved at all. Sorry for the mistakes as English is not my first language. I probably mentioned that in a previous post. Love your post! You're the best! Let us stand together against those morons.
Yvonne, your English is terrific, no need to apologize. “You should smile more” is one of the phrases that really makes my blood boil. I’m glad you said what you said to them. Imagine the audacity and entitlement to think you owe them your smile. That you are their’s to gaze upon. WTF!!!!
Yes, let’s work together to return to the matriarchy. Lord knows the patriarchy is not working. Thanks for reading and for your comment ❤️
llona, thank you for your kind reply. ❤
I love your energy and attitude.
Just came back from a trip to Ireland with a group of ladies, most of whom I had never met before.
During dinner at one hotel, we watched men cruising on the golf course in a small sedan. What on earth? Asked the server if this was usual and allowed? Absolutely not, she looked shocked.
After dinner, we decided to go for a walk. As we round the building, I see the car, a golf cart and four grey haired men. I whisper, I think that’s the car, let’s go quickly.
One of the ladies chooses to engage. Her friends keep walking. I feel pompous arse energy from these guys. I turn around and walk back.
No woman left behind is my motto. The cocky man looks at me and says. What’s the matter, are you jealous that she is getting all the attention?
My response. Absolutely not, just waiting for my friend, accompanied by a look of disgust.
There is no age limit to mens’ entitlement nor their cruel manipulation. No way I was leaving this woman with four men who obviously didn’t respect boundaries.
We need to be fierce for ourselves and one another.
As my husband said to me, it is time to confront casual misogyny directly.
I admire you
That guy who addressed you was an ass. You’re right—there is no end to their sense of entitlement. Its also wise for you to wait for your friend. One of the commenters to this article said to me “DO NOT engage” and I wish I hadn’t because now the gym guy seeks me out to chat. Non-engagement solves 90% of the problem, and I need to get better at it Thanks Patricia for the compliment and positive energy.
Agreed. I have another example for you. I recently took my friend to the hospital for the cast on her hand to get changed. She is currently receiving treatment for a brain tumour which messed up her balance, resulting in a fall that broke her wrist in two places.
She needs to use a wheelchair now because of the balance issues. So we go into the treatment room and there’s a man, not sure if his exact age, maybe 50s Gen X.
I stepped into the room first and she followed me. He said she needed to back in. I asked her if she wanted me to move to make more room and she said it was fine. He pipes up and says oh you better move because you know women can’t drive.
I wiggled my finger at them and said hey Ron, come here for a sec Justin behind the curtain where no one can see. He said are you gonna smack me? I said yes, yes I am and gave an evil grin.
Afterwards, I asked my girlfriend if I shouldn’t have said anything to him. She thought it was perfect. When I got home, I told My Husband what I did and he told me that he was proud of me. He said that it was about time people spoke up to stop casual misogyny in its tracks
I will continue to use my voice
Well done, Patricia! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 I’m proud of you and keep fighting the good fight.
I have run into this when I get estimates for work on my house. I am retired, own my house, am financially stable, and enjoy my life. I would never consider myself attractive. I am friendly. On three occasions, the person providing the estimate has suggested getting together. One showed up on a weekend day and offered to help with yard work. It has gotten to the point that I do not have anything repaired because of this past history. Do I need to hire someone to play my significant other for these meetings? Also, I do not think any of these men were necessarily creeps. Just really, really lonely.
That is a very sad conclusion, and I’ve heard it before. The loneliness epidemic for men is something they have to dig themselves out of. It’s not hard to do, and it doesn’t involve going to a woman’s house that they barely know.
Love your response to him and I get just wanting to be left alone and you should be. I do have a smidgen of sympathy for the old farts though who probably think they are making our day with a compliment.
I will admit that I appreciate the admiring glances that I still very occasionally get from men, I think because I never thought of myself as attractive even when I was! But an appreciative glance is very different from an actual approach! That I would not appreciate.
Well said! Yeah, I used to give the “old farts” the benefit of the doubt, too, but this just feeds into their sense of entitlement. I prefer attempting to teach new tricks to old dogs. If they’re shocked and put out by this new information (it’s not really new), that tells me all i need to know.
What a perfect response, Ilona! I think it's one I would have thought of later, and wished I would have said.
I mean really. What a thing to say. Next time I won’t be even that nice!
Good! What a $%^&*!
👏👏👏
❤️❤️❤️
The thought of those “muscle-y meatheads hogging the machines” made me giggle, Ilona. Great imagery in that phrase.
Being single as I am in my late-60s, it is my observation that most women can be alone, whereas older men tend to always be looking for the next companion. Perhaps loneliness plays into attempts at conversation, however that kind of attention is never warranted!
I think you're right, Candy. There is supposed to be a male loneliness epidemic, but my experience is that they always have used these types of lines to make their way in.
As you found out, any type of engagement with these morons is a green light. I have rehearsed over and over, through the years, DO NOT ENGAGE! This goes for all types of morons but especially for those entitled fools who mistakenly think we want to engage with them. I have mastered THE LOOK which my kids will attest to and then just turn away. Those entitled fools really dislike that and I can go on with my day. But bravo for returning to the gym!!!
This will be very hard for me to do, Jan. I know you’re right, and responding to someone speaking to me, no matter how annoying, is my old good girl programming. Headphones might help as a first line of defense.
It is difficult and you need to do what works for you. I had so much practice being raised by a narcissist mother and subsequent years of therapy. 😉
I want to have a sign the says "Leave me the freak alone!"
Seriously!
You lived in Pennsylvania too?
I was raised in Philadelphia, and raised my family in the Doylestown area. Now live at the Jersey shore. How about you?
I have family outside of Doylestown.
We live in Western Montgomery County.
OH wow! Small world. One of my daughters lives in Perkiomenville which is your county.
I am just a few minutes from Perkiomenville!
Yeah. I hear you…been there. I’m glad you said what you said to him. He needs someone to call him on that BS. At least now you know one person to avoid there.
Well Susan, my comment may have emboldened him. He sort of mumbled his regret about something or other when he saw the next time. He now comes over to chat every time he finds me. Turns out he was a lawyer turned politician and he went to Harvard undergrad. He finds himself so interesting 🤣 🤣
Geez…really? I wonder if that’s just another line.
Maybe. He didn’t say where he got his law degree, but he loved dropping Harvard on me.
I love this so much! And I want one of those shirts!
Thanks, Paulette and sorry to inform you that the shirt was on clearance and i bought the last one : /
What size are you? If I see it again, I’ll pick it up and mail it over.
How sweet of you, Ilona.
Ilona! Your "spot on" as always! My gym is behind my bedroom door! I have all the equipment I need right there!
That’s awesome Cathy! As a former gym rat, I do like going to the gym again. But I won’t let the creeps win :)
I love your response to that man! Perfect.
Don’t you find strength training empowering? I like it also as a complement to yoga.
Yes, I do love it. I kind of avoided signing up even though I needed it because of COVID. And given how no one cleans the machines, I clean them before and after I get on.
The T-shirt suits perfectly 😉
Thanks Laura! I like to remind myself that I am the main character in my story and to make every minute intentional.
So recognisable! Last year I quit the gym and bought stuff second-hand, which now has a lovely corner in the living room :)
I agree with that approach, Cécile, and did it myself for a while. Especially during COVID i bought the equipment, but my bone density numbers are getting worse. Nothing replaces the heavier machines like the leg press to get in those trouble spots. I will suffer on and do my best to aggravate the men at the gym if they deserve it.