The Simple Symbol That Changed How I Think About Gratitude
The center holds, even when everything else shifts.
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I came across this symbol in class the other day, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. It’s such a compelling image, I got lost in it.
My teacher called it a Celtic gratitude symbol, but in my research, I also found it attributed to Buddhists. I couldn’t find any clear history, only that it circulated on the internet in the past few years.
Maybe somebody made it up.
Clearly, it works. Tattoo-worthy even.
With a spiral at the center, three dots trailing off to the side, and a hook at the bottom, each part of the image carries meaning.
Yet it’s the spiral that keeps pulling me back.
We often use “spiraling” as a warning, but what if the spiral itself is neutral, just movement, just change?
A spiral represents change, evolution, and the acceptance of constant shifts. And according to the symbol’s design, gratitude sits right there at the center of it all.
The Thing About Spirals
Spirals don’t move in straight lines. They don’t follow the path you think they should. Remember the Slinky we used to play with as kids? The toy had a mind of its own.
Spirals circle back, but never to quite the same place. Each loop brings you somewhere slightly different, slightly changed.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot since so many of you responded to my piece about not cooking Thanksgiving dinner anymore. The relief in your comments wasn’t really about turkey and pie. It was about finally letting yourselves change direction, follow a different path, spiral somewhere new.
One of you wrote:
“I had to smile at your description of holiday cooking without wine. I quit drinking a while back, and I had a similar discovery. Turns out I did not enjoy basting anything. I enjoyed distracting myself from doing it.
Your piece reminded me that honesty often arrives in the smallest, funniest ways. Like realizing you do not actually love peeling potatoes. Sometimes the truest path is the one where you bring the butter, set it down, and enjoy your people without trying to run a culinary marathon”.
Another:
“I’ve been exhausted the last few years with hosting our large gathering, and I’m glad to have a break this year due to the Loop (a boat trip). I’m not sure I have the courage to give it up altogether, though.”
Here’s what I’m learning: everything does fall apart. That’s the point. The spiral keeps turning whether we cooperate or not. The question is whether we’re going to fight it or use the momentum.
What the Symbol Means
The three dots on the gratitude symbol represent infinity - an endless list. There’s always something more to be grateful for when you’re paying attention.
When you’re not too exhausted from obligation to notice.
The hook at the bottom is called a Makau, a Hawaiian word meaning fishhook. In Hawaiian legend, the demigod Maui used a nautical fishhook to gather fish up the Hawaiian islands. The story makes the Makau a powerful symbol of creation and unity. It symbolizes the ocean, strength, and prosperity.
And this is the part that surprised me: gratitude doesn’t just feel good. It actually gives us strength.
What gratitude can we reel in today?
The more I practice being genuinely grateful for the life I’m actually living, not the one I was supposed to have, not the one I’m performing for others, the more energy I have. The more abundant everything feels.
I’m grateful for the quiet of a holiday I’m not hosting.
I’m grateful for mornings I didn’t have to wake up early to prep for people who expected me to.
I’m grateful for the freedom to say no, the relief of being done with performances, and the energy I have now for things that actually matter.
My daughters are both expecting babies in December and January. I’m watching them create their own versions of family, their own traditions, their own spirals. And I’m discovering that one of the greatest gifts I can give them is the model of a woman who chose herself, who stopped managing everyone else’s comfort, who followed the spiral where it led.
The Center Holds
Here’s the thing about putting gratitude at the center: it doesn’t mean everything is perfect. It doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to be angry, disappointed, or done with things that aren’t working.
It means that even in the middle of change - especially in the middle of change - you can find solid ground. You can acknowledge what’s real. You can be grateful for the breaking as much as the becoming.
The spiral keeps turning. We keep evolving. And gratitude sits right there at the center, holding it all together while everything else shifts.
Your Turn
What are you spiraling toward right now? What are you finding gratitude for in the middle of all the change?
I want to hear from you. Leave a comment below. This community we’re building together is one of the things I’m most grateful for. Thank you!
Next week: Guest writer on how ordinary people - not heroes, not politicians, just you - keep democracy standing.
I used to keep a gratitude journal. Each night I would write an amount in it...a visit with a friend was worth a million dollars, a found $1.00 in the parking lot was $1.00, A hug was worth another million dollars, etc. At the end each night, I would add all of that up and found I was a millionaire every day. Truly a rich person and that began to change things financially...at least it relieved the angst of poverty. It was a manifestation of gratitude that spiraled every day creating the change of its own momentum.
Ilona, thank you for this. I’m not sure I’ve stopped to consider gratitude in a long time. In fact, even after thinking about what I’m grateful for, it was difficult to push aside the overwhelming feelings of anxiety brought on daily by the world we live in.
For me, I can’t just point to one specific thing, such as my 50 years of marriage to the same woman, or my two children who are both happy and successful in their lives, or the grandchildren I love so much, but wasn’t sure I’d ever have. I am truly grateful for these things—I consider myself blessed in this regard, considering the family I came from. That 9-year-old boy who promised himself a different future somehow kept that promise.
Your piece reminded me that gratitude and anxiety don’t have to be in competition. Today, I’m choosing to let gratitude have the louder voice. Thank you for that gift.