Your tattoo is lovely! I got a tattoo on my son ‘s birthday, the first one after he died along with my husband and daughter. It’s his signature from a card he gave me , on my left wrist. It’s just for me and I don’t have a single regret. It actually provides comfort.
I have plenty of big chicken moments, but none that I regret at the moment
Carol, your son's signature on your wrist - that's sacred. I love that you, your husband, and daughter all went together, that you marked yourselves with what you needed to carry. "Just for me" and "provides comfort" - that's exactly what our bodies are FOR. To hold what matters. Thank you for sharing this. 💙
For the record, I only sent ONE article about tattoos, possibly two, AT MOST, to the kids. But I love you no matter how you look, even if you had orange hair (which, as you know, you did, accidentally, one time in the past...) (perhaps fodder for a future post). As you always say to me, "You do you." If this makes you happy, then so be it. I'm happy that you're happy. A tattoo wouldn't be my choice or my path, but I respect that it's yours and I'm 100% supportive. To each their own. I was just a bit surprised, I will admit, since you had always seemed to be anti-tattoo. Live and learn (and evolve.) I can't wait to see what other future surprises you have in store....Bravo!
I'm happy that you're happy that I'm happy. I am anti-tattoo for anyone who is young and not yet fully developed in their thinking. Plus there's just no accounting for taste, but I think it's offensive to get a tattoo that says "F YOU" on your forehead. A person changes, grows, and develops-look at Pete Davidson. He's getting a bunch removed. Who wants a Sponge Bob tattooed on them when they're 63?
I got cutoff on the above comment. Yours was a bit of a low blow because you know that in my mature ways, if I were to get a tattoo (which I won't), it would be something dignified like SpongeBob or the Superman emblem. Those would be tempting...
I love the tattoo! And it's nice to see Mary in the picture with you! I have often thought about getting a tattoo, but haven't come up with anything so meaningful that I want to ink it permanently. But I'll keep thinking, thanks to your big jump!
I love this ! I got my first one at 61 . I thought I would never do it . I listened to a lot of naysayers . But I’m so happy . I only have one but I’m open to another one !
I felt nervous for you reading this, ha! Lovely that you followed through for yourself. Big chicken moment for me, jumping off a high rock. Years ago my sister-in-law coaxed me into climbing up to a rock that everyone was jumping off into the river. I told her I would go up with her but I wasn't jumping. When we got to the top, off she went leaving me alone with the decision to jump or climb back down. I jumped screaming all the way down. We all had a good laugh, and all these years later, that experience is a fond memory as she is no long with us.
Sue, I love this! Being left alone on that rock with the choice - that's it exactly. No one could make the decision for you. And you jumped screaming - which honestly sounds perfect. Sometimes we do brave things scared, not fearless. I'm so glad you have that memory with your sister-in-law. Those moments of choosing ourselves become even more precious, don't they? 💙
Ilona....what a great story! There are so many things I almost didn't do because I was too scared...marrying my husband of almost 32 years being one of them. But a tattoo....I did do that. Picture this: I'm eighteen years old and have recently surrounded myself with my new hippie friends. Tattoos weren't yet a "thing" for women, so it was unusual for me to get one at that time. I took a bottle of India ink and a needle. I wrapped thread around the needled near the bottom to make sure I didn't push the needle in too far. Then I dipped the needle tip into the ink and carefully poked in a peace sign right under my ankle on the inside. Some years later, I had it covered over with a butterfly by a professional tattoo artist. It's not pretty. I have often wished for more tattoos. I have even pictured getting a "sleeve." But between cost and my husband's preferences, I haven't done it. I feel like tattoos are an expression of are creative natures. I love them.
Linda, I love that you were an 18-year-old hippie with a needle and India ink! That takes guts. And I hear you on the sleeve dreams - it sounds like there's still something in you wanting to mark your body, to claim that creative expression you mentioned. Cost is real, but the "husband's preferences" part... well, you read my essay. You know what I think about that. 💙
I think it is pretty cool. I have never been able to imagine what I would want permanently on my body though. As I told my daughter when she wanted to get a pelican tattoo (she went to Tulane and was actually their Pelican mascot at sporting events): it’s your decision but what you like at 21 is different from what you like at 31, 41, etc. That has always been true for me.
I also am probably influenced by my Dad on this. He got drunk when on shore leave with the Navy in WW II and got a tattoo of an anchor. It didn’t come out well, aged even worse, and he always wished he had never done it. Of course, he was warning my brothers, not me, as it wouldn’t have dawned on him that either of his daughters would ever consider it, lol. But I remember the frequent warnings…
I love your tattoo. I got my first one at 30. But the one i like the most of mine was designed by younger son. We (both the boys and myself) have the matching tattoo. I have 4 now!
Such a powerful message in your writing and the tattoo itself, Ilona. I believe our sixties can be a freeing time when we open our hearts and minds to possibility and self-acceptance, particularly as women. The “I don’t care what others think” mantra after a lifetime of trying to be what others expect of us, is a liberating time. For me, it was not a tattoo, but seizing control of my ambitions at this age towards charity where I devote the majority of my time and resources. I crave making a difference on the planet and am inspired to do the work. This has changed some friendships for me to people who follow their hearts and what a gift. Being outspoken about what matters to me is the biggest gift in this freedom. Excellent writing, thank you.
Candy, this is so beautiful. Your "tattoo" is living your values out loud and letting some friendships shift in the process - that takes just as much courage. "I don't care what others think after a lifetime of trying to be what others expect" - YES. That's the whole third chapter rebellion right there. We spend decades performing, and then one day we just... stop. And devoting yourself to making a difference on the planet? That's claiming your life just as surely as I claimed my skin. Thank you for this thoughtful comment. It means so much. 💙
Seventh decade love - YES! There's something about claiming this for ourselves at this age, isn't there? The infinity symbol on your inner wrist sounds perfect. Here's to marking our bodies with what matters to us. 💙
I felt all this...I have 3 small tattoos, the first I got when I was 51. My husband had thoughts similar to your husband's, and I don't think he thought I'd do it. Neither did I. But it came at a time in my life that was hard and all 3 have meaning to me. I've contemplated another small one and I know what it would be, but I'm not feeling it right now, so who knows it might never happen. If you didn't see my journey to the 'table', here it is.
You're right, Marlo. I missed that post and it's so on the nose for how I feel right now. I love your line, "I’d just jump. Not overthink. Not over plan. Not care what others thought." YES GIRL!!!!!!! I love how your trio serve as reminders to you, as mine does to me. My son, who has a few now, said, eventually the newness fades and you forget about them. I hope I don't! I want that saying to be there to remind me of my intention that day, every day. Thank you for sharing this with me ❤️
I knew you'd 'feel' my tattoo journey also! (and my son also has a few too!!) I don't forgot about them per se, but catches glimpses of them when I need to 'see' them and be reminded. 💜
Wonderful, Ilona. Your tattoo is beautiful. And I’m glad you chose one with a message, something meaningful. I have three. If I was in my 30’s or even 40s I would get many, many more. To me, they are addictive. Of the three I have, I only regret the first one - and it’s not because It’s a tattoo, it’s because it’s just a butterfly on my upper right shoulder. It’s boring as hell. At some point I was going to find something interesting to attach it to…. Maybe a branch up my spine with a flower for the butterfly to sit on. But I ended up getting two different ones instead - and I love them. One is a Chupacabra (a mythical Mayan blood-sucking vulture dog, lolol) and then a huge Tribal Art tattoo on my lower back (commonly called a Tramp Stamp, unfortunately, lolol). Now THAT hurt!!! Welcome to the Ink Club!
Absolutely beautiful .. beautifully written and beautiful tattoo. I love the wisdom of ourselves as we age. I will say my husband was also vehemently against tattoos but I got my first (and so far, only, tattoo but I would love more) after he died with his handwriting. I do not regret it and every time my eye catches it, my breath also catches. I love the message of yours. It’s perfect. I may have to copy you 😉
Your tattoo is lovely! I got a tattoo on my son ‘s birthday, the first one after he died along with my husband and daughter. It’s his signature from a card he gave me , on my left wrist. It’s just for me and I don’t have a single regret. It actually provides comfort.
I have plenty of big chicken moments, but none that I regret at the moment
Carol, your son's signature on your wrist - that's sacred. I love that you, your husband, and daughter all went together, that you marked yourselves with what you needed to carry. "Just for me" and "provides comfort" - that's exactly what our bodies are FOR. To hold what matters. Thank you for sharing this. 💙
For the record, I only sent ONE article about tattoos, possibly two, AT MOST, to the kids. But I love you no matter how you look, even if you had orange hair (which, as you know, you did, accidentally, one time in the past...) (perhaps fodder for a future post). As you always say to me, "You do you." If this makes you happy, then so be it. I'm happy that you're happy. A tattoo wouldn't be my choice or my path, but I respect that it's yours and I'm 100% supportive. To each their own. I was just a bit surprised, I will admit, since you had always seemed to be anti-tattoo. Live and learn (and evolve.) I can't wait to see what other future surprises you have in store....Bravo!
I'm happy that you're happy that I'm happy. I am anti-tattoo for anyone who is young and not yet fully developed in their thinking. Plus there's just no accounting for taste, but I think it's offensive to get a tattoo that says "F YOU" on your forehead. A person changes, grows, and develops-look at Pete Davidson. He's getting a bunch removed. Who wants a Sponge Bob tattooed on them when they're 63?
Yo
I got cutoff on the above comment. Yours was a bit of a low blow because you know that in my mature ways, if I were to get a tattoo (which I won't), it would be something dignified like SpongeBob or the Superman emblem. Those would be tempting...
I love the tattoo! And it's nice to see Mary in the picture with you! I have often thought about getting a tattoo, but haven't come up with anything so meaningful that I want to ink it permanently. But I'll keep thinking, thanks to your big jump!
I think you’ll know when it’s the right time and the right image. Can’t wait to see what develops 💕
I love this ! I got my first one at 61 . I thought I would never do it . I listened to a lot of naysayers . But I’m so happy . I only have one but I’m open to another one !
I love this for us, Dianna! Who knows what the future holds, am I right? I’d love to see yours.
No pattern or rhythm just lessons in time . Angel wings for my sister who passed in 2015 . She also said I would never to do it . 😊
I felt nervous for you reading this, ha! Lovely that you followed through for yourself. Big chicken moment for me, jumping off a high rock. Years ago my sister-in-law coaxed me into climbing up to a rock that everyone was jumping off into the river. I told her I would go up with her but I wasn't jumping. When we got to the top, off she went leaving me alone with the decision to jump or climb back down. I jumped screaming all the way down. We all had a good laugh, and all these years later, that experience is a fond memory as she is no long with us.
Sue, I love this! Being left alone on that rock with the choice - that's it exactly. No one could make the decision for you. And you jumped screaming - which honestly sounds perfect. Sometimes we do brave things scared, not fearless. I'm so glad you have that memory with your sister-in-law. Those moments of choosing ourselves become even more precious, don't they? 💙
Yes, Ilona, they most certainly do!
Ilona....what a great story! There are so many things I almost didn't do because I was too scared...marrying my husband of almost 32 years being one of them. But a tattoo....I did do that. Picture this: I'm eighteen years old and have recently surrounded myself with my new hippie friends. Tattoos weren't yet a "thing" for women, so it was unusual for me to get one at that time. I took a bottle of India ink and a needle. I wrapped thread around the needled near the bottom to make sure I didn't push the needle in too far. Then I dipped the needle tip into the ink and carefully poked in a peace sign right under my ankle on the inside. Some years later, I had it covered over with a butterfly by a professional tattoo artist. It's not pretty. I have often wished for more tattoos. I have even pictured getting a "sleeve." But between cost and my husband's preferences, I haven't done it. I feel like tattoos are an expression of are creative natures. I love them.
Linda, I love that you were an 18-year-old hippie with a needle and India ink! That takes guts. And I hear you on the sleeve dreams - it sounds like there's still something in you wanting to mark your body, to claim that creative expression you mentioned. Cost is real, but the "husband's preferences" part... well, you read my essay. You know what I think about that. 💙
Yep! 🥰
I think it is pretty cool. I have never been able to imagine what I would want permanently on my body though. As I told my daughter when she wanted to get a pelican tattoo (she went to Tulane and was actually their Pelican mascot at sporting events): it’s your decision but what you like at 21 is different from what you like at 31, 41, etc. That has always been true for me.
I also am probably influenced by my Dad on this. He got drunk when on shore leave with the Navy in WW II and got a tattoo of an anchor. It didn’t come out well, aged even worse, and he always wished he had never done it. Of course, he was warning my brothers, not me, as it wouldn’t have dawned on him that either of his daughters would ever consider it, lol. But I remember the frequent warnings…
I admire your bravery!
Thank you Donna! It felt like the right time.
I love your tattoo. I got my first one at 30. But the one i like the most of mine was designed by younger son. We (both the boys and myself) have the matching tattoo. I have 4 now!
I love that, Savira! I would also love to get matching ones with my kids one day.
Such a powerful message in your writing and the tattoo itself, Ilona. I believe our sixties can be a freeing time when we open our hearts and minds to possibility and self-acceptance, particularly as women. The “I don’t care what others think” mantra after a lifetime of trying to be what others expect of us, is a liberating time. For me, it was not a tattoo, but seizing control of my ambitions at this age towards charity where I devote the majority of my time and resources. I crave making a difference on the planet and am inspired to do the work. This has changed some friendships for me to people who follow their hearts and what a gift. Being outspoken about what matters to me is the biggest gift in this freedom. Excellent writing, thank you.
Candy, this is so beautiful. Your "tattoo" is living your values out loud and letting some friendships shift in the process - that takes just as much courage. "I don't care what others think after a lifetime of trying to be what others expect" - YES. That's the whole third chapter rebellion right there. We spend decades performing, and then one day we just... stop. And devoting yourself to making a difference on the planet? That's claiming your life just as surely as I claimed my skin. Thank you for this thoughtful comment. It means so much. 💙
What a beautiful and meaningful tattoo. Last year I had an infinity symbol placed on my right inner wrist and I love it. Seventh decade love.
Seventh decade love - YES! There's something about claiming this for ourselves at this age, isn't there? The infinity symbol on your inner wrist sounds perfect. Here's to marking our bodies with what matters to us. 💙
I love the tattoo! And the message you're sharing.
Thank you, Paulette! It means a lot that it resonates with you. 💙
I felt all this...I have 3 small tattoos, the first I got when I was 51. My husband had thoughts similar to your husband's, and I don't think he thought I'd do it. Neither did I. But it came at a time in my life that was hard and all 3 have meaning to me. I've contemplated another small one and I know what it would be, but I'm not feeling it right now, so who knows it might never happen. If you didn't see my journey to the 'table', here it is.
https://whatanadventure.substack.com/p/la-ola-el-sol-y-la-luna?r=36r4zx
You're right, Marlo. I missed that post and it's so on the nose for how I feel right now. I love your line, "I’d just jump. Not overthink. Not over plan. Not care what others thought." YES GIRL!!!!!!! I love how your trio serve as reminders to you, as mine does to me. My son, who has a few now, said, eventually the newness fades and you forget about them. I hope I don't! I want that saying to be there to remind me of my intention that day, every day. Thank you for sharing this with me ❤️
I knew you'd 'feel' my tattoo journey also! (and my son also has a few too!!) I don't forgot about them per se, but catches glimpses of them when I need to 'see' them and be reminded. 💜
I love that you catch glimpses when you need them. That's the universe for you!
Wonderful, Ilona. Your tattoo is beautiful. And I’m glad you chose one with a message, something meaningful. I have three. If I was in my 30’s or even 40s I would get many, many more. To me, they are addictive. Of the three I have, I only regret the first one - and it’s not because It’s a tattoo, it’s because it’s just a butterfly on my upper right shoulder. It’s boring as hell. At some point I was going to find something interesting to attach it to…. Maybe a branch up my spine with a flower for the butterfly to sit on. But I ended up getting two different ones instead - and I love them. One is a Chupacabra (a mythical Mayan blood-sucking vulture dog, lolol) and then a huge Tribal Art tattoo on my lower back (commonly called a Tramp Stamp, unfortunately, lolol). Now THAT hurt!!! Welcome to the Ink Club!
Absolutely beautiful .. beautifully written and beautiful tattoo. I love the wisdom of ourselves as we age. I will say my husband was also vehemently against tattoos but I got my first (and so far, only, tattoo but I would love more) after he died with his handwriting. I do not regret it and every time my eye catches it, my breath also catches. I love the message of yours. It’s perfect. I may have to copy you 😉