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Linda Hoenigsberg's avatar

That is fascinating and what a great surprise! Most of my ancestry report is of German/French and British descent. I'm supposedly 63% German/French, mostly from the Northwestern part of Germany. Another large chunk of my DNA comes from Britain and Ireland. My love of anything to do with the sea or boats, or the harbors they dock in may have to do with my DNA, and also, I'm in love with anything carved in the Black Forest style. I do think these affinity towards certain things may be handed down in our DNA.

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Bill Alstrom (MA/Maine/MA)'s avatar

I agree about the affinity idea. I have no proof. But the more I learn about the history of my ancestors, the more I see common interests and traits. Are we more destined than we think we are? To what degree are we free agents (a lot I hope!) versus just following a natural path. The way a hummingbird knows how to fly from New England to Mexico...a salmon returns to a specific stream to spawn. I wonder...

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

It's funny, Bill, because when I first started writing this piece I began by asking why I always eat a peach over the kitchen sink. The first answer is I don't want to make a mess, the second answer is I'm tired of wiping the counter, the third is that's how my mother used to eat them, and fourth is there genetic evidence that some of us our neater and cleaner by design. Marie Kondo anyone? But that would have taken this piece in a different direction altogether.

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

I'm always glad when you comment because it means you're feeling well enough to do so. My dad is from way up north Germany on the North Sea, and my mom was also Northwest Germany like you. Like you and Bill, I think there are some "affinities" woven into our DNA.

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Neera Mahajan's avatar

This is an amazing story. I am in awe how you keep on coming up with such interesting stories from your life. I would never have connected you with Germany. I was thinking Greece. But you are multi-racial, like the reset of us. I wonder if ancestery.com does analysis of Indian descend people. It will be interesting to figure out what my DNA tells about me.

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

Yes, are any of your parents alive? It'd be great to get their results too. I wished I had done that while my mom was still alive.

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Neera Mahajan's avatar

No, they are both gone. One of my aunt is alive.

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Cherie Lee's avatar

This is very cool, Ilona! You've made me want to check into my own ancestry. Your grandchildren are beautiful!

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

Thanks, Cherie. It has been an interesting ride.

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Alexander Lovell, PhD's avatar

Your article got me thinking about identity as a fluid and dynamic force, like a river constantly changing its course. We're not just the sum of our passports or DNA results; we're shaped by our experiences, values, and connections. Thank you for your wonderful article.

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

Yes, I came to the same conclusion as you, that our identity is fluid and dynamic. This acknowledgement seems to contradict my spiritual belief that we are changeless and eternal. I think we are actually all those things at the same time, but don't ask me to explain it.

I have to apologize for not subscribing sooner to your newsletter. I thought I had, and that you weren't writing weekly. I see now that I wasn't subscribed at all! Anyway, I look forward to reading your writing here on Substack.

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Carol's avatar

Actually that’s what I was waiting for - the sales. I love a good sale!

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Anne's avatar

Those boys look like brothers!

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

You made me chuckle. I "see" my daughters' husbands in those babies, so to me they look like they come from two different-- Italian and Irish-- families.

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Kirie Pedersen's avatar

I had a huge surprise about 12 years ago when I received a message via my blog that "my relatives" were trying to find me. I thought it was a scam and ignored it, but the woman persisted and ended up sending me the documentation of one-fourth of my heritage. See, my mom's mom told her that her father abandoned the family. So we knew nothing about that one-fourth. Through one of those websites, this third cousin tracked me down. I always claimed to be the child of immigrants, via my Danish immigrant grandparents who landed here age 18. The grandmother who said Mom's dad abandoned her was Irish, 2nd generation. I was proud to be a "peasant." Turns out my grandfather's side goes back to the American revolution. My third cousin sent me forms so I could join DAR (which of course I wouldn't due to racist stuff). When I ended up meeting my second and third cousins, it was as if I'd met long lost twins. We had more in common than I have with some of my full-blood siblings, strange parallel lives. They also said it was a lie that my grandfather abandoned my mother. They pulled out a shoebox of child support checks my grandmother cashed. And said that my grandmother was the one who didn't allow my mom to visit her dad. I only wish Mom had lived a little longer so she could have met these wonderful people.

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

Oh that last part is heart-breaking. I've heard where the moms have said stuff like "your dad doesn't care about you," to the kids and that it was never true. It's so damaging for the kids.

And wow! You really got the full monty. That is so cool that you met your second and third cousins and that you felt deeply connected. Loved hearing your story, Kirie.

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Kirie Pedersen's avatar

By the way, Denmark's a small country, and somewhere I have info about my Danish family. My paternal grandfather was Hans Pedersen. My maternal grandmother, from the same village, was Kirstine Jensen. I can look up the village in the oral history one of my sisters took from Grandpa when she was a student at the University of Washington if you know where your peeps are from. Maybe WE are third cousins, Ilona!

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

Well I don't have much info. I can send you the names I do know if it's not too much trouble to check.

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Kirie Pedersen's avatar

Names and village(s) they were from.

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Paulette Bodeman's avatar

Your point is well taken, Ilona. When we learn that we're more, or less, than what we think we are it can be unsettling for some of us and liberating for others. It's fun to uncover all the bits and pieces that makes us us. BTW, the you tube is so funny, thanks for the chuckle.

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

Yes, I supposed I do feel both unsettled and liberated. Thanks for putting the words on it. I also appreciate that you watched the YouTube and have the same kooky sense of humor as me. Abera-cadaberahhhhh

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Carol's avatar

Love the baby pictures!

I have not done a dna study but I want to. My sister and I always thought we were 50% Irish and 50% German based on what we knew of our roots. Our great grandmother was from Ireland. My sister did a dna test and found she was 98% Irish. It’ll be interesting to see what mine is. My brother is not interested in doing one. Fascinating stuff!

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

Each child gets a different ladle of genetic material. I see this with my husband and his sister's results. Ancestry usually runs holiday specials in Nov/Dec to get a discount on their testing kits. You should check it out!

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Crone Life's avatar

My most recent non-American ancestor is my great-great grandfather, who was English. Most of my forebears came to this country in the 17th & 18th century and that is well documented. I haven't tried a DNA thing but all my cousins have and there were no surprises. My husband is British though and I was investigating getting a British passport for our son when Brexit happened. I told my son that I wanted him to be able to explore his heritage and he responded "Why would I want to do that? Dad is right here."

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

When I was young, I would have said the same thing as your son. He may not appreciate his heritage until he is older. A British passport is a very cool thing to have!

That's very cool that you have documentation from your ancestor's arrival. Your son may appreciate these records some day.

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Diana Strinati Baur's avatar

Herzlichen Glückwunsch! I've recently applied for my German Citizenship as the laws have been changed to allow Americans to keep their passports and get the German one as well (after meeting residency requirements). Having the German passport means being able to live anywhere in the EU. That's VERY sexy.

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

So sexy! My friend Anne wants to get a cute little apartment in the South of France. Who knows, maybe we'll be neighbors.

Did the passport authorities tell you how long of a wait there is for your application process?

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Diana Strinati Baur's avatar

20 months 🙄

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Bill Alstrom (MA/Maine/MA)'s avatar

Wonderful stuff. And the way you communicated our greater connection should be a common theme. Instead too many Americans are being selfish and infantile with their "othering".

I love this:

"Maybe, one day, those pieces of paper we call passports won’t hold as much power as the common thread of humanity that unites us."

I must have commented on your previous piece about heritage that my DNA discovery was just the opposite of yours. Our family myth was that I was very Swedish (the name) but I am only about 6%. Nobody mentioned Germany. But I am about 40% Franco/Prussian with DNA specifically from Germany. And then, the other hilarious irony was that I have a big chunk of Irish - my Waspy grandmother would have been mortified. I loved her, but she was a bit of a bigot.

I find the whole subject hugely entertaining. But maybe I can chuckle a bit more because I don't really care where my blood comes from. I care about how we all treat each other - and the Earth.

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

Yes, I agree with your sentiment 100% Bill. I care about how we treat each other more than where you're from. The Trump supporters like to throw the term "globalist" around, but we really are interdependent on each other, no matter where we come from.

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