Your words and questions are perfect timing. Life has me swimming wishing the undertow would suck me out to sea. 60 is creeping in... just days away. Never have I felt such a pull on my soul. I love my birthday. I celebrate all month long with true joy. This turn is different some how. It started in December last year and had snowballed into panic to the point of needed a new therapist to keep me from running way from my life. 60 aint no joke. IT IS NOT about how much money or even my health. Soul searching who am I and why am I here? What brings me JOY? What holds me back? thank you always for opening my eyes to see more, listen more, FEEL more! xoxo
Happy Birthday, my friend! Mixed feelings about aging are understandable, but what helps me is thinking of all the people who didn't make it to 60. I also used to try to uncover my purpose, but decided that I am here to seek and have joy. Joy gives richness to my life. Cultivating joy is a more straightforward answer than wrangling a purpose, because what if there is no purpose? Just be.
As I approach 60 (WHY is this such a huge birthday—more so than 40 or 50????) I am a bit blue—but then again with the mess going on in our country (hell, the world) I imagine many feel the same. So am I conflating impending 60 or just life itself? I also have lovely mornings of black coffee and wading through daily emails—and also have volunteered for the past ten years for a non-profit (I am on medical leave at the present-vanity surgery) that I can work mostly at my own leisure. Lake Huron is my front yard—I have an amazing husband (third time IS the charm) —so why do I feel this void? Anyway…I 100% agree, would much rather be where I am at my age than Warren Buffett with all the riches in the world doddering around at 94. Sorry about my rambling.
Yes, 60 does seem a bigger deal than any of the others. Existential crisis because we have fewer years ahead than behind. These times in America are horrific indeed, as we have both commiserated about, and I'm also very depressed about it. But we will get through it, as these times always pass.
Third time is the charm? Number one was practice, and Number 2 was the charm for me. Hang tight! I'm sure you'll be very happy with your new and improved whatever after recovery.
Ilona Goanos: The photo of you, joyfully looking into that Miracle of Nature that is your little grandson, says it all.
The rest is mere commentary.
The picture shows the full, beating, joyful heart of a full woman, with the tender love, dandling a little boy whose eyes are full of wonder at a world filled with the love of his wondrous grandma, spoiled in love, as Mother Nature meant for a little child to be, in the smiles and kisses of grandma.
We are surrounded by loved ones.
Not "objects".
But SUBJECTS.
Each person, full of experiences, full of feelings.
Love each person -- your daughter, your in-laws, your grandchildren -- each for the person s/he is.
The grandson, in turn, will be nourished in love, giving him the inner love and confidence of a full, loving person.
Thank you so much for sharing of your inner wealth.
So good. Right now I am at a beach on the west coast soaking up a week with my hubby, 3 adult children, six adult grandchildren, and three great-grands as well as a sister and two nephews. I am enjoying them as a woman free of the years of being the responsible one and having them all making sure I am always comfortable, happy, and taken care of. It's bliss.
Sweet, sweet baby Ilona! ♥️ Although at the moment, I do not have health on my side, I do have time and I spend it deliciously. You become so in touch with your mortality when health is failing, so I am consciously aware of each moment. I luxuriate in the bath, sip my tea on my flower-filled deck, read on my chaise propped by pillows whenever the mood strikes, peruse recipes that excite for the time I can eat again, tend to my organic veggie garden with love but my biggest thrill is awaiting my first granddaughter in November. This is my first grandchild and I am ecstatic!
Loved this post Ilona. I love how your exploration of whether or not you’d change places with Warren Buffet led you to change your mind about it. So beautifully expressed! I remember back in 2010 when I read about the research conducted by Nobel Prize winners Daniel Kahneman and Angus Deaton who found that the point of diminishing returns for happiness and income is around $75,000/year. After this point, income may not lead to a significant increase in reported happiness or life satisfaction. Now, later research has found it depends how unhappy you were to begin with and that the number may be as high as $500,000 (2023 study by Matthew Killingworth). My point being, once I saw that figure and read the research it freed me to focus on richness in a whole new way (I probably was already doing this given my own background, but it validated my choices). And now I get to be one of the happiest people I know regardless of my income. Now, if someone were to gift me billions, would I be an excellent steward of that money, yes (at least I hope so). So, while I’d never trade my life with anyone else’s (I adore my *charmed* life!), I’d be an excellent steward of any life I was given/gifted. Thanks for a wonderful read. (~Dominique the words part of Camera of Words)
Yes, I read that same study, which suggests that you don't become significantly happier after earning $75,000. I haven't heard about the latter research, though. That's quite interesting! Money allows us to have more choices and afford more experiences; in that respect, having more money is meaningful. I believe you would be a very good steward of Mr. Buffett's money, Dominque. I will give him a call 🤣
Thanks for the reminder. just this morning I was feeling a little 'guilty' for sleeping in...lingering...etc but then I am reminded by this and other things that it's my time now and the 'withered lettuce' has changed to abundant harvests!
I'm happy you got to sleep in! I always looked forward to the ability to sleep in, and now, in one of the universe's funny twists, I can't sleep late. My body has decided that I have to go to bed and rise early. I guess there are worse things!
I love this! I am currently reading Sahil Bloom's book The 5 Types of Wealth and relate to much of what you are saying (although I am stuck in the 40s of child raising and financial burdens, also head of household). Perspectives like these give me hope for the future.
I think I saw Sahil's interview and heard him say, "Would you trade places with Warren Buffett?" and it sent me down the rabbit hole. Before hearing his discuss this, I probably would have said yes, but now it's a definite no. Yes, there are better things ahead, Lori.
I love the picture of you with your grandbaby! What a great picture! I too feel like I have “time” wealth. And having a grandson is definitely a bonus.
Your words and questions are perfect timing. Life has me swimming wishing the undertow would suck me out to sea. 60 is creeping in... just days away. Never have I felt such a pull on my soul. I love my birthday. I celebrate all month long with true joy. This turn is different some how. It started in December last year and had snowballed into panic to the point of needed a new therapist to keep me from running way from my life. 60 aint no joke. IT IS NOT about how much money or even my health. Soul searching who am I and why am I here? What brings me JOY? What holds me back? thank you always for opening my eyes to see more, listen more, FEEL more! xoxo
Happy Birthday, my friend! Mixed feelings about aging are understandable, but what helps me is thinking of all the people who didn't make it to 60. I also used to try to uncover my purpose, but decided that I am here to seek and have joy. Joy gives richness to my life. Cultivating joy is a more straightforward answer than wrangling a purpose, because what if there is no purpose? Just be.
As I approach 60 (WHY is this such a huge birthday—more so than 40 or 50????) I am a bit blue—but then again with the mess going on in our country (hell, the world) I imagine many feel the same. So am I conflating impending 60 or just life itself? I also have lovely mornings of black coffee and wading through daily emails—and also have volunteered for the past ten years for a non-profit (I am on medical leave at the present-vanity surgery) that I can work mostly at my own leisure. Lake Huron is my front yard—I have an amazing husband (third time IS the charm) —so why do I feel this void? Anyway…I 100% agree, would much rather be where I am at my age than Warren Buffett with all the riches in the world doddering around at 94. Sorry about my rambling.
Yes, 60 does seem a bigger deal than any of the others. Existential crisis because we have fewer years ahead than behind. These times in America are horrific indeed, as we have both commiserated about, and I'm also very depressed about it. But we will get through it, as these times always pass.
Third time is the charm? Number one was practice, and Number 2 was the charm for me. Hang tight! I'm sure you'll be very happy with your new and improved whatever after recovery.
Ilona Goanos: The photo of you, joyfully looking into that Miracle of Nature that is your little grandson, says it all.
The rest is mere commentary.
The picture shows the full, beating, joyful heart of a full woman, with the tender love, dandling a little boy whose eyes are full of wonder at a world filled with the love of his wondrous grandma, spoiled in love, as Mother Nature meant for a little child to be, in the smiles and kisses of grandma.
We are surrounded by loved ones.
Not "objects".
But SUBJECTS.
Each person, full of experiences, full of feelings.
Love each person -- your daughter, your in-laws, your grandchildren -- each for the person s/he is.
The grandson, in turn, will be nourished in love, giving him the inner love and confidence of a full, loving person.
Thank you so much for sharing of your inner wealth.
Thank you for sharing your wisdom, Armand. Yes, my life is rich, and especially as an only child, I feel like I hit the lottery.
So good. Right now I am at a beach on the west coast soaking up a week with my hubby, 3 adult children, six adult grandchildren, and three great-grands as well as a sister and two nephews. I am enjoying them as a woman free of the years of being the responsible one and having them all making sure I am always comfortable, happy, and taken care of. It's bliss.
I love this for you, dear Linda. Enjoy vacation with your beautiful family.
Thank you so much, Ilona!
That totally made me smile! (and I don't even know you) but felt a rush of happiness! Enjoy!!
Thanks, Marlo!! It's been a long time coming.
Sweet, sweet baby Ilona! ♥️ Although at the moment, I do not have health on my side, I do have time and I spend it deliciously. You become so in touch with your mortality when health is failing, so I am consciously aware of each moment. I luxuriate in the bath, sip my tea on my flower-filled deck, read on my chaise propped by pillows whenever the mood strikes, peruse recipes that excite for the time I can eat again, tend to my organic veggie garden with love but my biggest thrill is awaiting my first granddaughter in November. This is my first grandchild and I am ecstatic!
I'm so excited for you, Jan! Indeed you are rich in so many ways.
I could not agree with you more on all accounts. Thank you, Ilona.
Thank you for reading, Michelle!
I love this post and photo, Ilona! We are rich and abundant in profound, meaningful ways.
Thanks, Paulette. Yes we are!
Loved this post Ilona. I love how your exploration of whether or not you’d change places with Warren Buffet led you to change your mind about it. So beautifully expressed! I remember back in 2010 when I read about the research conducted by Nobel Prize winners Daniel Kahneman and Angus Deaton who found that the point of diminishing returns for happiness and income is around $75,000/year. After this point, income may not lead to a significant increase in reported happiness or life satisfaction. Now, later research has found it depends how unhappy you were to begin with and that the number may be as high as $500,000 (2023 study by Matthew Killingworth). My point being, once I saw that figure and read the research it freed me to focus on richness in a whole new way (I probably was already doing this given my own background, but it validated my choices). And now I get to be one of the happiest people I know regardless of my income. Now, if someone were to gift me billions, would I be an excellent steward of that money, yes (at least I hope so). So, while I’d never trade my life with anyone else’s (I adore my *charmed* life!), I’d be an excellent steward of any life I was given/gifted. Thanks for a wonderful read. (~Dominique the words part of Camera of Words)
Yes, I read that same study, which suggests that you don't become significantly happier after earning $75,000. I haven't heard about the latter research, though. That's quite interesting! Money allows us to have more choices and afford more experiences; in that respect, having more money is meaningful. I believe you would be a very good steward of Mr. Buffett's money, Dominque. I will give him a call 🤣
Thanks for the reminder. just this morning I was feeling a little 'guilty' for sleeping in...lingering...etc but then I am reminded by this and other things that it's my time now and the 'withered lettuce' has changed to abundant harvests!
I'm happy you got to sleep in! I always looked forward to the ability to sleep in, and now, in one of the universe's funny twists, I can't sleep late. My body has decided that I have to go to bed and rise early. I guess there are worse things!
I love this! I am currently reading Sahil Bloom's book The 5 Types of Wealth and relate to much of what you are saying (although I am stuck in the 40s of child raising and financial burdens, also head of household). Perspectives like these give me hope for the future.
I think I saw Sahil's interview and heard him say, "Would you trade places with Warren Buffett?" and it sent me down the rabbit hole. Before hearing his discuss this, I probably would have said yes, but now it's a definite no. Yes, there are better things ahead, Lori.
I love the picture of you with your grandbaby! What a great picture! I too feel like I have “time” wealth. And having a grandson is definitely a bonus.