That photo captures how red it really was. As I got older, I colored my hair and the dye would always make my "blonde" a little reddish. It wasn't what I was going for, and PTSD from the henna was for real!
I have also longed to wear the sari without feeling as if I am hijacking the culture. The two Indian weddings I attended allowed me to live that dream. But of course, I want more. I work for an Ayruvedic doctor and longed to be included in their Narvatti- 10 days of worship and dancing, and Diwali - New Year, celebrations. I am praying that in my lifetime I will be able to combine those holidays with my Judeo- Christian/ Pagan beliefs, in a way to honor all the cultures and the beliefs that make humanity vibrant. You will always be invited when I do!
Oh that’s right! I forgot you work for an Ayurvedic doctor! You are on the pulse my friend, and I appreciate the future invite to your cultural diversity and immersion party.
Beautiful, Ilona. I know exactly how you feel about their amazing culture. I was lucky to become very close friends with an absolutely gorgeous Shia Muslim girl when she was hired as a nurse at the mental health team I managed in Vancouver. When she became engaged, I was invited to a few celebrations and then to the wedding and reception. At her "shower" I was privileged to have my hands intricately painted with henna. Taking part even at this level made me long to belong to a culture such as this. So much love and joy from her community. Alas, she lost interest in our friendship and went on to place more value on friends of "higher status" than myself, which I was sad about. This is life though! Thank you for this lovely piece.
I love the beautiful hand henna artwork. Lucky you! Better on my hand than on my hair (ha ha). At least I know you can relate to being near to such a beautiful expressive culture.
Yes, some would call this holy envy. Personally, I have always wanted the outfit with the long sleeved dress that goes to the knees and is slit back up to the waist on either side, worn with slim pants underneath.
I saw them in an Indian store in Atlanta once. They were out of my budget. An Indian woman I met recently told me she also couldn’t afford to buy from U.S. stores. Her family shipped her such dresses from India. And there you go—the wonder of family support.
Holy envy! That's perfection. That dress/pants combo you describe looks comfy, too. I agree Sharon, there's so much cheap clothing in the US, and the really nice special stuff is exorbitant. Now to find an Indian and/or Pakistani family to adopt me....
That photo was hard to find. First I went searching for me in the sari, and only found a few of my roommate wearing hers. If it had happened today, it wouldn't be so bad to walk around with a pop of color on my head. Thanks for reading, friend.
Thank you! It was such a gift. I took it for granted then—the everyday immersion, the food, the conversations. I didn't realize how rare that kind of closeness was until I no longer had it.
I’ve never had any Indian or Pakistani friends, but I worked with several physicians who were in the hospital. I never got to see their colorful saris, but love hearing your stories.
Thank you! It's interesting, isn't it—how we can work alongside people and still never quite enter the fullness of their lives? I wonder what those physicians wore outside the hospital walls. The saris I saw at the temple felt like a whole different language of beauty.
This was 30 years ago and even though I was quite friendly with several, we rarely discussed our personal lives. Very interesting and curious to me now.
I love that wish. I think appreciation deepens when it's rooted in relationship—when we're learning from each other, not just admiring from afar. That's the part I'm still figuring out. Thank you for this.
I'm glad that you've publicly professed your love for the colorful sari. My SpongeBob shirt is my Anglo expression of that same colorfulness and joy. Thanks for understanding this when I wear it! I hope that you're not sari that you wrote this piece... 🤣
I love how you capture beauty and wistfulness.
Thank you for this. "Wistfulness" is exactly the word I couldn't find while writing it. I'm grateful it landed with you.
I have always loved the color saris as well. I've never tried one on. I've had your red hair, though. LOL
That photo captures how red it really was. As I got older, I colored my hair and the dye would always make my "blonde" a little reddish. It wasn't what I was going for, and PTSD from the henna was for real!
I bet! Oh, the things we think are good ideas at the time.
I have also longed to wear the sari without feeling as if I am hijacking the culture. The two Indian weddings I attended allowed me to live that dream. But of course, I want more. I work for an Ayruvedic doctor and longed to be included in their Narvatti- 10 days of worship and dancing, and Diwali - New Year, celebrations. I am praying that in my lifetime I will be able to combine those holidays with my Judeo- Christian/ Pagan beliefs, in a way to honor all the cultures and the beliefs that make humanity vibrant. You will always be invited when I do!
Oh that’s right! I forgot you work for an Ayurvedic doctor! You are on the pulse my friend, and I appreciate the future invite to your cultural diversity and immersion party.
Beautiful, Ilona. I know exactly how you feel about their amazing culture. I was lucky to become very close friends with an absolutely gorgeous Shia Muslim girl when she was hired as a nurse at the mental health team I managed in Vancouver. When she became engaged, I was invited to a few celebrations and then to the wedding and reception. At her "shower" I was privileged to have my hands intricately painted with henna. Taking part even at this level made me long to belong to a culture such as this. So much love and joy from her community. Alas, she lost interest in our friendship and went on to place more value on friends of "higher status" than myself, which I was sad about. This is life though! Thank you for this lovely piece.
I love the beautiful hand henna artwork. Lucky you! Better on my hand than on my hair (ha ha). At least I know you can relate to being near to such a beautiful expressive culture.
Yes, some would call this holy envy. Personally, I have always wanted the outfit with the long sleeved dress that goes to the knees and is slit back up to the waist on either side, worn with slim pants underneath.
I saw them in an Indian store in Atlanta once. They were out of my budget. An Indian woman I met recently told me she also couldn’t afford to buy from U.S. stores. Her family shipped her such dresses from India. And there you go—the wonder of family support.
Holy envy! That's perfection. That dress/pants combo you describe looks comfy, too. I agree Sharon, there's so much cheap clothing in the US, and the really nice special stuff is exorbitant. Now to find an Indian and/or Pakistani family to adopt me....
This is lovely and wistful, and I feel your longing. It mirrors my own.
Thanks for sharing the sweet photo of you.
That photo was hard to find. First I went searching for me in the sari, and only found a few of my roommate wearing hers. If it had happened today, it wouldn't be so bad to walk around with a pop of color on my head. Thanks for reading, friend.
Beautiful saris, who would not want to wear one? Love how you were immersed in this family's culture. What a gift!
Thank you! It was such a gift. I took it for granted then—the everyday immersion, the food, the conversations. I didn't realize how rare that kind of closeness was until I no longer had it.
I’ve never had any Indian or Pakistani friends, but I worked with several physicians who were in the hospital. I never got to see their colorful saris, but love hearing your stories.
Thank you! It's interesting, isn't it—how we can work alongside people and still never quite enter the fullness of their lives? I wonder what those physicians wore outside the hospital walls. The saris I saw at the temple felt like a whole different language of beauty.
This was 30 years ago and even though I was quite friendly with several, we rarely discussed our personal lives. Very interesting and curious to me now.
So many beautifully rich cultures around the world. My wish is that they all be appreciated.
I love that wish. I think appreciation deepens when it's rooted in relationship—when we're learning from each other, not just admiring from afar. That's the part I'm still figuring out. Thank you for this.
Ever so slightly...
I'm glad that you've publicly professed your love for the colorful sari. My SpongeBob shirt is my Anglo expression of that same colorfulness and joy. Thanks for understanding this when I wear it! I hope that you're not sari that you wrote this piece... 🤣
You do you, but maybe slightly less overboard....
FYI- Love the hair looks amazing with your smile!