16 Comments
User's avatar
Leah Rampy's avatar

I love how you capture beauty and wistfulness.

Expand full comment
Ilona Goanos's avatar

Thank you for this. "Wistfulness" is exactly the word I couldn't find while writing it. I'm grateful it landed with you.

Expand full comment
Linda Hoenigsberg's avatar

I have always loved the color saris as well. I've never tried one on. I've had your red hair, though. LOL

Expand full comment
Ilona Goanos's avatar

That photo captures how red it really was. As I got older, I colored my hair and the dye would always make my "blonde" a little reddish. It wasn't what I was going for, and PTSD from the henna was for real!

Expand full comment
Linda Hoenigsberg's avatar

I bet! Oh, the things we think are good ideas at the time.

Expand full comment
Candy Kennedy's avatar

Beautiful saris, who would not want to wear one? Love how you were immersed in this family's culture. What a gift!

Expand full comment
Ilona Goanos's avatar

Thank you! It was such a gift. I took it for granted then—the everyday immersion, the food, the conversations. I didn't realize how rare that kind of closeness was until I no longer had it.

Expand full comment
Jan Hempstead, RN's avatar

I’ve never had any Indian or Pakistani friends, but I worked with several physicians who were in the hospital. I never got to see their colorful saris, but love hearing your stories.

Expand full comment
Ilona Goanos's avatar

Thank you! It's interesting, isn't it—how we can work alongside people and still never quite enter the fullness of their lives? I wonder what those physicians wore outside the hospital walls. The saris I saw at the temple felt like a whole different language of beauty.

Expand full comment
Jan Hempstead, RN's avatar

This was 30 years ago and even though I was quite friendly with several, we rarely discussed our personal lives. Very interesting and curious to me now.

Expand full comment
Michelle Lindblom's avatar

So many beautifully rich cultures around the world. My wish is that they all be appreciated.

Expand full comment
Ilona Goanos's avatar

I love that wish. I think appreciation deepens when it's rooted in relationship—when we're learning from each other, not just admiring from afar. That's the part I'm still figuring out. Thank you for this.

Expand full comment
Lazarus NJ's avatar

Ever so slightly...

Expand full comment
Lazarus NJ's avatar

I'm glad that you've publicly professed your love for the colorful sari. My SpongeBob shirt is my Anglo expression of that same colorfulness and joy. Thanks for understanding this when I wear it! I hope that you're not sari that you wrote this piece... 🤣

Expand full comment
Ilona Goanos's avatar

You do you, but maybe slightly less overboard....

Expand full comment
Paulette Bodeman's avatar

This is lovely and wistful, and I feel your longing. It mirrors my own.

Thanks for sharing the sweet photo of you.

Expand full comment