Your Body Keeps Score
Owning the truth will save you.
This is a continuation of last week’s post. To catch up, start here.
After leaving home, I transferred to the socially-acceptable form of lying. Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy sent me on a 14-year downward spiral. When you're trying to fool three kids, you've got a lot to keep straight. It drained me of so much energy to keep these fabrications alive and fresh for each kid.
Drip.
Meanwhile, my mother was still untreated. She relied on me to keep all the balls in the air in her paranoid fantastical world.
Drip, drip.
My marriage was not going well. I often felt alone, but I wanted to keep up with outward appearances.
Drip, drip, drip.
The lying was eroding my sense of self and depleting my life-force energy. My body was keeping score.
At age 40, tachycardia caused my heart to race and beat wildly, which led me to visit the cardiologist and eventually surgery.
Silently, pre-cancerous polyps were developing by the age of 40. Even though I had no symptoms, I had a sharp OB/GYN who recommended getting checked. For the next 20 years, I had colonoscopies every five years to remove the new ones that kept sprouting up.
At age 42, the same OB/GYN recommended seeing a breast surgeon. I ended up with a lumpectomy on my left breast. Thank God, the removed tissue was benign.
Then came the debilitating back pain.
Hair loss.
Rosacea.
Neck pain.
Abdominal pain.
But other than that, I was doing great.
Gush.
In fact, my life got much, much worse before it got better. It wasn't until I was willing to step into the truth that things turned around.
Looking back now, my body was trying to tell me something. But I wouldn't listen.
Get quiet. It starts as a whisper. What is your body saying?
YOGA
We are starting another four-week series on March 8th at 7 p.m. That means our meeting dates are on 3/8, 3/15, 3/21, and 3/28. We will explore gentle movement, yin, joint mobility, and restorative poses. This class will be as accessible to everyone, no matter your ability or familiarity with poses. We will spend more time meditating than in previous classes. Classes are recorded if you’re unable to attend live. Investment $50. Ready to sign up? Click here.
Not sure? Send me an email at hello@theblissbeneath.com and I will send you the Zoom link for the first class to try free of charge.
BOOK CLUB
The next Book Club meeting is on Monday, March 6th at 7 p.m. The book is “A Gentleman in Moscow” by Amor Towels. Check it out here.