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Donna Neevel's avatar

Just started following you and went back into the stack to find this. My mom died a few years ago, and as much as I loved her I have been so afraid to become like her. Overweight, slightly disinterested and judgmental, I'm afraid I'm fighting a losing battle. I'm trying hard to find the lovely things about her (there were some) and embrace her, and also recognizing the things I don't like about myself are not her fault. Sigh. I appreciate you telling your story.

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

I think it's important to recognize that your mother's legacy is not YOUR legacy. As I age, I start to look more like her, according to my kids. It always makes me cringe, but I am a different person in most ways, and you probably are, too. Never lose your power of autonomy. Awareness is the first step.

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Donna Neevel's avatar

Thank you ❤️

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TBG's avatar

This is a gorgeous piece of writing and deeply poignant.

TBG

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

Appreciate you, dear TBG.

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Deborah Rubin's avatar

Thanks for your heartwarming story of photography, flowers, and your mother's passion. Sounds like you have closets full of memories of your mom even without all the photos.

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

You can say that again, dear friend. Thanks for your support.

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Corie Feiner's avatar

I so feel this!

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

Thanks, kindred spirit.

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

Have you become like one of your family members despite your best efforts?

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Glenna Gill's avatar

Oh no, I just realized I saw your sweet note about me and forgot to say thank you. I always appreciate how sweet and supportive you are. By the way, your story is beautiful.

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Melanie Thompson's avatar

Thank you for republishing this article. Your gardening skills are admirable. Grateful for you!

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