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Linda Hoenigsberg's avatar

I also watched LOTS and found it fascinating and heartwarming. As a grandmother to a brilliant teen with autism, I enjoy being stretched to stay curious and be inspired by different ways people think and view the world. Your last in the list of hints for finding authentic connection reminded me of an experience I had as someone who issued marriage licenses and performed civil ceremonies in Superior Court. I came into the job shattered by a divorce and convinced I was now "too old" to have anyone choose me (I was divorced because of a husband who liked younger women. I was 34!). Through issuing marriage licenses and performing ceremonies, I saw that no matter what age or personality type, people find their persons. It changed my life.

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

Pari on the show shared her optimism with finding someone given the huge number of people in the world—there’s got to be someone out there for me! Such a hopeful view that paid off for her.

I can’t imagine how hopeless you felt at that tender age having been married to a scoundrel. Glad you hung in there and found your nice guy.

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Linda Hoenigsberg's avatar

Thanks, Ilona. And he wasn't even the worst. LOL

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Paulette Bodeman's avatar

I was once again appalled by RFK Jr.'s complete lack of genuine knowledge and empathy. What a disgrace.

I've not watched this show, Ilona, but your description and post have brought tears of hope and joy for us all. These lovely humans haven't practiced the art of artifice, and we can all learn from that.

I'm reminded of years ago, during my first encounter with a young man who had Tourette syndrome. I believe it was random that the first time his dad brought him into the shop where I was working as a barber, I was asked to cut his hair. The boy exhibited many of the characteristics, especially swearing loudly. I was taken aback initially. However, he and I made a connection, and for about the next year or so, I worked at that salon and cut his hair. I hope he's well.

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

Such a special memory, Paulette, of your time shared with him. I'm sure he remembers what a compassionate person you are, too.

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Paulette Bodeman's avatar

It was long ago, so I don’t know if he’d remember. But I do hope he’s well and thriving.

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Angie P's avatar

OMG. Love this show! I found myself grinning like a fool time and again at the awkwardness and honesty of it all. I was unprepared and did not have enough tissues for the last episode of season 3. Do not make the same mistake. <3

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

Me too. It was so heartwarming and I am so happy for them. Everyone deserves to be loved 🥰

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Maureen C. Morin's avatar

Funny you should write about this because just yesterday I happened upon this show and quickly got hooked. It's so wholesome and I find myself rooting for them all. Great show and so refreshing.

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

I love their honesty and that not everything is so polished about them. They wear their emotions on their sleeves and maybe we can learn to let others in a little more by way of their examples.

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Bill Alstrom (MAtoMainetoMA)'s avatar

Sorry, late to reading this. My inbox is flooded. Delete, delete. delete. But I always save your Substacks

I don't watch TV - other than a few carefully selected scripted series or a film. But I absolutely love the "Six Things" you listed. Thanks for sharing your perspective. We are all on some sort of spectrum. Everyone has some type of phobia. But we all have value and qualities to be appreciated.

This was a beautiful letter. I read it with my first coffee and it launched my day nicely.

Love your writing!

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

Thank you, Bill. That means a lot that you value seeing me in your inbox. You're right, or is that write?, we all have our qualities that others can't understand. That's what makes this world a more interesting place.

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Marlo Leaman's avatar

Very interesting! I haven’t watch LOTS but your summary is beautiful. And I loved the list-it’s helpful for anyone! I might give the show a watch after reading.

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

In particular, I love their innocence. There really is so much they teach us.

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Lazarus NJ's avatar

I've only watched the show a few times, briefly, over your shoulder, but it does seem to be a refreshing change from staged "The Bachelor"-type dating shows. This post also taught me that I may be on the spectrum since I always tremble and have to sit down when I kiss you!

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

The feeling is mutual, my honey.

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Jill CampbellMason's avatar

Filterless and free without the possibility of NOT being genuine!

Wondrous!

Thanks.

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Kirie Pedersen's avatar

How cool that you shared yoga with neurodivergent people. My close friend's ten-year old is on the mild end of the spectrum, but boy do his challenges make functioning in the world and in his own family a challenge - tics, for example, that actually cause him pain. Recently his therapist grandmother lerned that hypnosis can help with tics and other aspects of autism, and after one session, the child and his parents have more tools. There's also evidence that autistic brains might have what I'd call psychic/intuitive abilities.

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