Why Good People Must Stop Being Quiet Right Now

Essential scripts for confronting lies about elections, immigrants, and heroes.

Photo Credit: Deposit Photos

If this piece resonates with you, let me know in the comments. Speaking up here is good practice for speaking up everywhere else. Hit the heart if you're ready to stop staying silent, and share this with anyone who needs permission to use their voice. Your engagement helps these words reach people who are tired of tiptoeing around lies. Consider this your first small act of not staying quiet.

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A woman asked me a question right before the ladies' trip to Zakynthos.

"Will there be any Trump supporters on the trip?"

She felt safe asking that question because we both belonged to our town's Democratic club. But I wasn't sure how to answer. While I knew some ladies personally, I wasn't sure how a few of them felt about the current political climate.

"I don't know," I said.

The truth is, I didn't want to know. This trip, for me anyway, transcended politics. It was intended as a healing trip to open hearts and minds to a new way of living. Every woman was welcome.

However, I'm not always so laissez-faire.

In my social life, I'm more discerning. When invited to dinner with friends and another unknown couple, I directly ask our friends if the new people are in favor of the current regime. I would like to know if we can discuss politics openly or if we need to self-censor our thoughts.

That's why I want to know before I get there so I can prepare myself. I don't want to waste my time on a conversation that will only frustrate me. You and I know that some conversations aren't worth having. Some people aren't acting in good faith. And pretending otherwise is precisely what they're counting on. Where they are willing to go is dangerous, and we are being dragged along without our consent.

The climate of our country has become menacing and urgent.

In last week's post, commenters expressed relief that I recommended not keeping every headline in your body and that it's ok not to engage with every horrible news story. This week, I have a different request: I am urging you to stop being quiet about your beliefs.

Yes, it's way easier to live quietly in our ideological bubbles, but doing so has gotten us HERE. Staying silent is precisely how the regime wins. It’s time to call people out and question authoritarian lies.

After reading Alexandra Petri’s inspiring Atlantic article, “A Beautiful Day for Saying Nothing,” I’ve got a new approach to addressing the spread of lies and propaganda in my daily life. Speak up, call people out, and question the lies.

Here's what not staying silent and speaking up actually looks like in practice.

The next time someone drops the word "illegals" in a conversation, you could say:

"You mean people without documentation." Simple, direct, immediate correction.

”Those are people, not illegals." Focuses on our innate humanity without requiring a backstory.

"I don't use that word." Clear boundary, hard to argue with.

"That word reduces human beings to their legal status." Educational without being preachy.

These all work because they:

• Don't require you to know anything about the other person's background;

• Focus on the language itself rather than making assumptions;

• Give you something concrete to say in the moment when you might otherwise freeze.

The goal isn't to have the perfect comeback, but to not let dehumanizing language pass without any pushback at all. Even a simple "I don't use that word" signals that their language isn't normal or acceptable to everyone.

The next time a person says Charlie Kirk was a hero:

Question the heroism: "What makes you see him as a hero?" This forces them to articulate what they admire about spreading division and hate.

Focus on actions: "I can't call someone a hero who built a career on dividing people and spreading conspiracy theories."

Redirect to real heroes: "Heroes don't make their money by tearing the country apart. Heroes try to bring people together."

Challenge the martyrdom: "Being murdered doesn't automatically make someone a hero. His ideas were harmful when he was alive."

Simple disagreement: "We have very different definitions of heroism."

Call out the harm: "He spent years spreading lies that hurt real people. That's not heroic to me."

These work because they:

• Don't let emotional manipulation override factual assessment;

• Separate the act of murder from the person's actual legacy;

• Force people to defend specific actions rather than vague "heroism";

• Refuse to let death erase the harm someone caused while alive.

The key is not to get pulled into relitigating his entire career, but to clearly state that you don't accept the premise that he was heroic. You're drawing a line: "I won't let you rewrite history to make a divisive figure into a martyr."

When someone says "The election was stolen" or similar claims:

Ask for specifics: "Which specific evidence convinced you of that?" This forces them to cite actual sources, which often reveals they have none.

State the facts: "Every court, including Trump-appointed judges, found no evidence of widespread fraud." Redirect to reality: "60+ lawsuits were thrown out. At what point do you accept the results?"

Challenge the premise: "That's been thoroughly debunked. I'm not going to pretend it's a legitimate viewpoint."

Appeal to institutions: "Are you saying every election official in every state was part of a conspiracy?"

Simple boundary: "I don't engage with election conspiracy theories."

Focus on harm: "Those lies led to January 6th and are undermining democracy itself."

These work because they:

• Don't get bogged down in endless "evidence"

• Point to institutional authority (courts, election officials)

• Frame conspiracy thinking as what it is - divorced from reality

• Refuse to treat lies as legitimate "opinions." The key is not to debate the details of every false claim, but to establish that you won't accept the basic premise that the election was fraudulent. You're saying: "This isn't a matter of opinion - it's a matter of documented fact."

Granted, sometimes it doesn't feel safe to express your view.

Maybe you're reading the room, and regime supporters vastly outnumber you. There are times I'm scared to speak out, too. I can't ask you to risk your personal safety, but the best way to live is in alignment with your heart, mind, and values. This way, you don’t feel like you’re betraying yourself.

But let’s not minimize this ask. The work is exhausting. You don't have to engage every lie, challenge every conspiracy theory, or correct every piece of propaganda you encounter. Choose your battles wisely. Speak up when you can, rest when you need to, and remember that even small acts of truth-telling add up.

But we can't all continue to stay silent. Democracy depends on people willing to say, "That's not true," when lies are spoken as fact. The regime is counting on our exhaustion, our politeness, our desire to avoid conflict.

When enough people speak up, it makes a difference. Jimmy Kimmel returned to his show this week after a public outcry over his suspension.

Our voices, when joined together, have power.

Don't give them what they want. Your voice matters. Use it.