These scripts are so helpful! I had to speak my version of it with a tour guide in South Africa who wanted to discuss Charlie Kirk. I can't abide with anyone assuming that I would be a follower/supporter of our current leadership. Will have to build this muscle in the coming days/months/hopefully not years.
Well, we are ONLY in year one, so keep pumping iron. It will be a good skill to keep in your back pocket when this is over. Let's keep speaking truth to power, even in South Africa.
Very well summarized post thank you - I live in Canada 🇨🇦 and we have some differences in our country here as well with provincial governments differing in their decisions policies and for sure many issues on a smaller scale. I always say that we can never change others in their beliefs however “to listen” to others, to “speak” what I believe, and to “role model” are all steps I take to not stay quiet.
What I appreciate about your post, @Ilona, is that you offer concrete ways to engage—with heart. This is a superpower! It can be tempting to spew, but people who use intelligent heart-centred communication offer an option—a possibility to respect differences and hopefully change the harmful rhetoric. I too am Canadian 🇨🇦 and so thankful our foundation isn't being shaken by reckless divisiveness. Let's hope dialogue like this brings us closer together—quicker. Kudos to you for this important post. You Rock!!!!
Thanks for your support, Deborah. I'm glad our Canadian neighbors "see" how the true patriots are struggling right now. We need all the help we can get. I hoped the scripts would make it a little easier to use our voices.
Beautiful, and so true. It's challenging to navigate these turbulent times, especially in difficult situations. Silence is not an option now. Silence is complicity. This is good guidance.
Thanks, Mark. Nodding one's head and being polite haven't worked. Not all opinions deserve a participation prize. Enough already! I didn't know these opinions were as widespread before 2016. Now that I know, I can't unknow.
This piece hit me like a tuning fork. Clear, grounded, and impossible to ignore. Thank you for giving language to the moments we freeze and a path forward for when we speak.
Excellent advice. We don’t have to hang on to every word of the news to get what’s going on. We can take it when we feel strong, and leave it when we don’t. It’s 𝙚𝙭𝙝𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 to listen to every viewpoint, over and over! Also the scripts. Very simple and direct. Not like what is going on in my head, which is anger at people engaging in online opinions! I can address the comment, and still keep my response limited to facts, and if they cannot discuss issues, keeping our eye on the future, and stick to reality, then the conversation is over. GREAT piece, IIona!
Keyboard warriors! They're the worst. No courage and none needed when they're behind a screen. The anger is excellent fuel for the job ahead. Keep up the good fight, Sharon.
I’m going to save this. I live in a very conservative, rural area (Faux News is on at the gym constantly) and I do like many of the local people and worked with them for years. Most of them keep quiet because they don’t want to stir up trouble any more than I do. But these are good strategies for dealing with the issues if they do come up. Ironically, I’ve been more troubled by the liberals (I call them cosplay liberals) who would bring up issues in my workplace and want me to agree and discuss politics with them when it’s not appropriate. One of the best things I did is get off Facebook, because I find that a lot of people I know in real life want to continue talking about topics that were raised there. And I just don’t want to, often because I think that many people I encounter are just espousing groupthink. They aren’t thinking critically about the issues any more than the “other side” is. And to me, that’s a problem.
Thanks, Martha. I dislike seeing Fox News on public TVs, such as at the local rec center where we play pickleball. I don't understand how anyone can watch so much content that promotes negativity and outrage. It reveals a great deal about the fear-driven individuals who watch it.
I've been off Facebook since January, and I still say good riddance to it. I think the people who continue to follow the president despite every rotten, irresponsible, and criminal thing he does are in a cult.
Well done! There is nothing more infuriating to listen to the outrageous and fanatical rhetoric that spues out of people who are suppose to represent us. Thank you for providing a good starting pointto respond to.
Thanks, Antoinette. We have a governor's race in November here in NJ. The republican candidate is in favor of the regime. The last thing we need is a republican gov here.
Of course, I have no restraint and just immediately call them our as MAGA to their face. But it helps having these replies in my back pocket.
"Speak up, call people out, and question the lies.
Here's what not staying silent and speaking up actually looks like in practice.
The next time someone drops the word "illegals" in a conversation, you could say:
"You mean people without documentation." Simple, direct, immediate correction.
”Those are people, not illegals." Focuses on our innate humanity without requiring a backstory.
"I don't use that word." Clear boundary, hard to argue with.
"That word reduces human beings to their legal status." Educational without being preachy.
These all work because they:
• Don't require you to know anything about the other person's background;
• Focus on the language itself rather than making assumptions;
• Give you something concrete to say in the moment when you might otherwise freeze.
The goal isn't to have the perfect comeback, but to not let dehumanizing language pass without any pushback at all. Even a simple "I don't use that word" signals that their language isn't normal or acceptable to everyone.
The next time a person says Charlie Kirk was a hero:
Question the heroism: "What makes you see him as a hero?" This forces them to articulate what they admire about spreading division and hate.
Focus on actions: "I can't call someone a hero who built a career on dividing people and spreading conspiracy theories."
Redirect to real heroes: "Heroes don't make their money by tearing the country apart. Heroes try to bring people together."
Challenge the martyrdom: "Being murdered doesn't automatically make someone a hero. His ideas were harmful when he was alive."
Simple disagreement: "We have very different definitions of heroism."
Call out the harm: "He spent years spreading lies that hurt real people. That's not heroic to me."
These work because they:
Don't let emotional manipulation override factual assessment;
Separate the act of murder from the person's actual legacy;
Force people to defend specific actions rather than vague "heroism";
Refuse to let death erase the harm someone caused while alive."
Wow, Ilona. I can't imagine living somewhere or being in situations where I would have to worry about people saying any of those ugly things. I live in a mostly blue county and state, and I hang with sober women who, I've slowly learned by chatting outside of meetings, are as radical lefty Socialist as I am. With lifelong friends, I'm relieved when I find we share our contempt for the regime. I do bring up racism and sexual abuse and homophobia in this mostly white but liberal/blue area because it's too easy to forget those topics, and sometimes I'm startled that liberals can forget that our life bubble here isn't everyone's. I admire you for standing up for and articulating what you believe. I am also grateful that my husband and I 100% share and articulate the same beliefs. He's the one who told me to read your post today. His family is Pro-regime a thousand percent and he's stopped communicating with them.
I'd advise staying safely in your radical lefty socialist incubator! It's rough out here. I am a blue dot in a red county. We race for governor this November, and we again are tempting the gods with a political sign on our front lawn. I wrote last year about how *they* kept stealing our Kamala signs. Let's hope this one stays put. There is a lot at stake here in NJ. The last thing we need is a Republican governor, and the Republican candidate is a Trump-lover.
I found this quote after posting my comment earlier. 'There is no power for change greater than a community discovering what it cares about. - Margaret Wheatley
Thank you for sharing your wise and strategic advice. In addition, I have found that in my attempted conversations with diehard Trumpers, it is more energy efficient for me to just listen to them and let them run their mouths until they run out of steam. These folks are sadly lacking in self-confidence and seem to get a boost of satisfaction out of parroting the regime’s twisted lies. At this point, many of them are beyond redemption because they are unable to admit that they are wrong . To try and correct their beliefs with reality education is like spitting in the wind. I believe it will be more effective to strengthen the recovery of our country by uniting with those who share our convictions. Yes, I know this may encourage divisiveness but it is also a better use of our positive energies.
I used to agree with what you said. Now I don't. I'm not here to fix their lack of self-confidence or feel sorry for them being in a cult. I don't believe I will change anyone's mind either. They've given up their ability to think for themselves, and that collective act has become a national problem. I want to convey that spreading lies or demeaning vulnerable populations in my presence is not acceptable. It never was.
These scripts are so helpful! I had to speak my version of it with a tour guide in South Africa who wanted to discuss Charlie Kirk. I can't abide with anyone assuming that I would be a follower/supporter of our current leadership. Will have to build this muscle in the coming days/months/hopefully not years.
Well, we are ONLY in year one, so keep pumping iron. It will be a good skill to keep in your back pocket when this is over. Let's keep speaking truth to power, even in South Africa.
Very well summarized post thank you - I live in Canada 🇨🇦 and we have some differences in our country here as well with provincial governments differing in their decisions policies and for sure many issues on a smaller scale. I always say that we can never change others in their beliefs however “to listen” to others, to “speak” what I believe, and to “role model” are all steps I take to not stay quiet.
Words to live by, Heather! Thank you for sharing. I have trouble with the listening because it doesn't make sense, so kudos to you for that patience.
I have trouble too believe me !! It’s a cycle 🔄
What I appreciate about your post, @Ilona, is that you offer concrete ways to engage—with heart. This is a superpower! It can be tempting to spew, but people who use intelligent heart-centred communication offer an option—a possibility to respect differences and hopefully change the harmful rhetoric. I too am Canadian 🇨🇦 and so thankful our foundation isn't being shaken by reckless divisiveness. Let's hope dialogue like this brings us closer together—quicker. Kudos to you for this important post. You Rock!!!!
Thanks for your support, Deborah. I'm glad our Canadian neighbors "see" how the true patriots are struggling right now. We need all the help we can get. I hoped the scripts would make it a little easier to use our voices.
I agree-the concrete was to engage/answer! Very helpful!
I'm glad it helped, Marlo.
Brilliant, Ilona! I'm forwarding this on.
And the outcry from the firing of JK also hit them where it hurts - in their billionaire wallets.
Yes, Disney didn’t learn after what happened to Target. Luckily we had some Republican backing on this latest firing.
Indeed!
Beautiful, and so true. It's challenging to navigate these turbulent times, especially in difficult situations. Silence is not an option now. Silence is complicity. This is good guidance.
Thanks, Mark. Nodding one's head and being polite haven't worked. Not all opinions deserve a participation prize. Enough already! I didn't know these opinions were as widespread before 2016. Now that I know, I can't unknow.
I love this! Sometimes, it's hard to think of a good response in the moment. These scripts are handy to keep in our "pocket".
A writer on another Substack called such scripts "scaffolding" to build on or tweak in our own way. I thought that was brilliantly put.
Thanks you for writing this. I appreciate it.
This piece hit me like a tuning fork. Clear, grounded, and impossible to ignore. Thank you for giving language to the moments we freeze and a path forward for when we speak.
Thanks Maggie! We will get through this with the support of each other.
Excellent advice. We don’t have to hang on to every word of the news to get what’s going on. We can take it when we feel strong, and leave it when we don’t. It’s 𝙚𝙭𝙝𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 to listen to every viewpoint, over and over! Also the scripts. Very simple and direct. Not like what is going on in my head, which is anger at people engaging in online opinions! I can address the comment, and still keep my response limited to facts, and if they cannot discuss issues, keeping our eye on the future, and stick to reality, then the conversation is over. GREAT piece, IIona!
Keyboard warriors! They're the worst. No courage and none needed when they're behind a screen. The anger is excellent fuel for the job ahead. Keep up the good fight, Sharon.
Thanks IIona!
Bravo!
I’m going to save this. I live in a very conservative, rural area (Faux News is on at the gym constantly) and I do like many of the local people and worked with them for years. Most of them keep quiet because they don’t want to stir up trouble any more than I do. But these are good strategies for dealing with the issues if they do come up. Ironically, I’ve been more troubled by the liberals (I call them cosplay liberals) who would bring up issues in my workplace and want me to agree and discuss politics with them when it’s not appropriate. One of the best things I did is get off Facebook, because I find that a lot of people I know in real life want to continue talking about topics that were raised there. And I just don’t want to, often because I think that many people I encounter are just espousing groupthink. They aren’t thinking critically about the issues any more than the “other side” is. And to me, that’s a problem.
Thanks, Martha. I dislike seeing Fox News on public TVs, such as at the local rec center where we play pickleball. I don't understand how anyone can watch so much content that promotes negativity and outrage. It reveals a great deal about the fear-driven individuals who watch it.
I've been off Facebook since January, and I still say good riddance to it. I think the people who continue to follow the president despite every rotten, irresponsible, and criminal thing he does are in a cult.
Well done! There is nothing more infuriating to listen to the outrageous and fanatical rhetoric that spues out of people who are suppose to represent us. Thank you for providing a good starting pointto respond to.
Thanks, Antoinette. We have a governor's race in November here in NJ. The republican candidate is in favor of the regime. The last thing we need is a republican gov here.
Love this, thanks Lolo!
Of course, I have no restraint and just immediately call them our as MAGA to their face. But it helps having these replies in my back pocket.
"Speak up, call people out, and question the lies.
Here's what not staying silent and speaking up actually looks like in practice.
The next time someone drops the word "illegals" in a conversation, you could say:
"You mean people without documentation." Simple, direct, immediate correction.
”Those are people, not illegals." Focuses on our innate humanity without requiring a backstory.
"I don't use that word." Clear boundary, hard to argue with.
"That word reduces human beings to their legal status." Educational without being preachy.
These all work because they:
• Don't require you to know anything about the other person's background;
• Focus on the language itself rather than making assumptions;
• Give you something concrete to say in the moment when you might otherwise freeze.
The goal isn't to have the perfect comeback, but to not let dehumanizing language pass without any pushback at all. Even a simple "I don't use that word" signals that their language isn't normal or acceptable to everyone.
The next time a person says Charlie Kirk was a hero:
Question the heroism: "What makes you see him as a hero?" This forces them to articulate what they admire about spreading division and hate.
Focus on actions: "I can't call someone a hero who built a career on dividing people and spreading conspiracy theories."
Redirect to real heroes: "Heroes don't make their money by tearing the country apart. Heroes try to bring people together."
Challenge the martyrdom: "Being murdered doesn't automatically make someone a hero. His ideas were harmful when he was alive."
Simple disagreement: "We have very different definitions of heroism."
Call out the harm: "He spent years spreading lies that hurt real people. That's not heroic to me."
These work because they:
Don't let emotional manipulation override factual assessment;
Separate the act of murder from the person's actual legacy;
Force people to defend specific actions rather than vague "heroism";
Refuse to let death erase the harm someone caused while alive."
Thanks for spreading the scripts, Lolo. I hope it helps someone who needs words at the ready to keep up the good fight.
Wow, Ilona. I can't imagine living somewhere or being in situations where I would have to worry about people saying any of those ugly things. I live in a mostly blue county and state, and I hang with sober women who, I've slowly learned by chatting outside of meetings, are as radical lefty Socialist as I am. With lifelong friends, I'm relieved when I find we share our contempt for the regime. I do bring up racism and sexual abuse and homophobia in this mostly white but liberal/blue area because it's too easy to forget those topics, and sometimes I'm startled that liberals can forget that our life bubble here isn't everyone's. I admire you for standing up for and articulating what you believe. I am also grateful that my husband and I 100% share and articulate the same beliefs. He's the one who told me to read your post today. His family is Pro-regime a thousand percent and he's stopped communicating with them.
I'd advise staying safely in your radical lefty socialist incubator! It's rough out here. I am a blue dot in a red county. We race for governor this November, and we again are tempting the gods with a political sign on our front lawn. I wrote last year about how *they* kept stealing our Kamala signs. Let's hope this one stays put. There is a lot at stake here in NJ. The last thing we need is a Republican governor, and the Republican candidate is a Trump-lover.
I remember the ongoing sign pilfering, Ilona. I laud and support you for being that blue dot. In more ways than one, you are an inspiration.
Brilliant post.
Thanks for reading, Savira. I appreciate your support.
I found this quote after posting my comment earlier. 'There is no power for change greater than a community discovering what it cares about. - Margaret Wheatley
I believe the Sleeping Giant is waking up, and we are finding out it cares a lot! None of this happened in Nazi Germany, so I am taking heart.
❤
Ilona,
Thank you for sharing your wise and strategic advice. In addition, I have found that in my attempted conversations with diehard Trumpers, it is more energy efficient for me to just listen to them and let them run their mouths until they run out of steam. These folks are sadly lacking in self-confidence and seem to get a boost of satisfaction out of parroting the regime’s twisted lies. At this point, many of them are beyond redemption because they are unable to admit that they are wrong . To try and correct their beliefs with reality education is like spitting in the wind. I believe it will be more effective to strengthen the recovery of our country by uniting with those who share our convictions. Yes, I know this may encourage divisiveness but it is also a better use of our positive energies.
I used to agree with what you said. Now I don't. I'm not here to fix their lack of self-confidence or feel sorry for them being in a cult. I don't believe I will change anyone's mind either. They've given up their ability to think for themselves, and that collective act has become a national problem. I want to convey that spreading lies or demeaning vulnerable populations in my presence is not acceptable. It never was.